How do we respond to this??

We are not a hospital, or mental facility, or emergency hotline. This goes beyond our realm of help.

When you are feeling this way you should call your local 911 number and be taken to the hospital for evaluation.

You don't need proof of harm to be taken to a hospital.

You are obviously upset and need help we cannot give you.

Prayers for you.

I imagine we've all been in that space where we don't see how things could get better or how we could make it from here to there.  Living with the chaos of alcoholism can wear anyone down until it falsely feels like there are no options.  Remember F.E.A.R. -- False Evidence Appearing Real.  A major sign of depression is thinking that things can never get any better.  That's a disease like the flu is a disease -- but it does not represent reality.  It sounds as if you really need a break and more support.  The National Suicide Prevention Hotline is 1-800-273-8255.  Please call it and talk to someone, because you are important.  You need a little help up so you can figure out the options for making your life better -- and there are options.  I'm sure everyone here has had that experience where we had no idea how to get out of the darkness and into the light.  It takes tools (Al-Anon and therapy can give us a lot of tools), support (meetings, sponsor, developing friendship networks, clearing our minds so we have time to forge closer relationships), and ways to make more time in our lives and clear out the chaos. Don't give up just before the miracle happens.  Please get help right away, go to meetings as often as you can, and start using the tools hard.  I promise you there is great hope.  Hugs.

Ms Co-D

There is hope and there must be some part of you that knew we would be here to hold your hand if you reached out and here we are.  I agree w post-ers above, call emergency or hotline, there is always help there; do not stay if he is hurtng you in any way; you will not have chance for clarity if you are in the chaos.

I agree w FEAR slogan too; our minds can do a number on us, especially after trying to live with this disease and all it can do.

I hope you feel the support here; pls call and get help and let us know how you are doing

(((MsCoD)))

YF

 

 

 

Sis what you are going thru is what is called "Our Bottom"...We're done, there is no more room to move around it and the only way out is to stop it all and go for help which you have done here and then you are there.  You can do the same thing there as you have done here...call mental health, the hospital or Help in Emotional Trouble or the church or emergency or a Family Ourtreach program or the like and say "I need help" and then talk it out.

Let us know how that comes out.  You are not alone.  (((((hugs))))) 

Glad you're here with your Alanon family who understands and cares. Please get to a safe place where there is help. The chaos can easily overwhelm and falsely make it seem like you're stuck in the untenable situation, but there is a way out and there are options. Please be gentle with you and let us know how you're doing.

Sending prayers.

In support

Ms C

It sounds to me like you have reached 'bottom' Its not a happy place but its where i and many people here came from. My bottom was the place I finally reached out for help at Alanon and for the first time in my life I was honest with myself. My life had become unmanageable and I was powerless. Sounds like you are ready to be honest with you. Take care.x

I don't know what your finances are, or if you have any insurance, but there are private clinics, hospitals and programs available to treat co-dependency.  The Pavillan in Ashville NC, has a variety of in house (hospital) 12 step modality treatment programs and one of them is a 3 week in patient treatment program specifically for co-dependents.  If your codependency is adversely affecting your quality of life, to the degree that suicide is looking like a reasonable option, a way out of the pain it is creating in your life, I would strongly suggest you contact someone locally, (Emergency Rooms usually have a social worker these days that do mental health pre-screening that might have the resources to refer you to the right people, and possibly resources to help with the funding for that treatment), the Crisis Intervention Mobile med teams are all over the country now... if you call 911, they can get them to you rather quick, and they can help get you pointed in the right direction.  In short, there are other options available, besides suicide.  It might take making a few phone calls, or going to talk to someone about what is going on, how you are feeling and what you are thinking but it is worth it.  My personal experience has been that when I got to the place of considering suicide as a reasonable option or solution, its not because I really wanted to die but rather because I wanted the pain to stop.  I wanted to kill it.  With what felt like my last living breath, I reached out to a few mental health professionals in my area and they did help me find the resources I needed to find a sense of hope, and my healing and recovery began in that area of my life.  Please, if you don't do anything else, go to an Al-Anon meeting and speak up, tell the group what you are feeling and thinking, that suicide is looking more and more like a warm invitation, instead a tragedy in the making.  Just be honest.  Cry if you want or it comes over you, don't hold anything back... and more than likely someone will reach out to you.. grab them with all your might and hang on... they can take you from Hopeless Avenue to Hope-filled Blvd.

I know, I was there, right where you are now... and nothing magically got better without my being proactive towards getting the help I so badly needed.  I didn't want to die... I wanted the pain to stop.  They showed me through example how to bring it to an end and keep it there, in check so I never have to travel Hopeless Avenue again.

John

I want to thank every one here for all there help and hearing my story . I found out today that I should not be on this sight this board,. I see it now why I'm having a hard time to accept and find my higher power . This will be my last post here . I don't belong here, I thought my A did the worst thing ever to me was to betray me by having me get medically cleared from the hospital . I now know who ms co-dependent is ! I am broken in tiny pieces and some are missing I am not FIXABLE. I left myself open again . How I do not know , I moved upstairs to the bedroom that's where I live right now. I like my room my space I like locking my door I feel safe upstairs . I now-feel like I'm that kid again .my A looked at his actions and said he could of came home to see if I was ok but he didn't want to he wanted some one else to check on me. He could of called a friend or my daughter to see if I was ok but he chose to call police and the rest follows. Today my A ask if he can talk to me , ok I'm thinking what's the worst that could happen now . He decided to bring up my past (PTSD )I'm sure he ment no harm , I think . He started with how are you sleeping at night? Do you like your new bedroom? Please look at this from my point Alalon friends , my A became sober and yes I was forced to go threw it with him sink or swim right, well I didn't know how to swim in the first place so I was always keeping my head up from the water. Then A says to little a , I did a review over my inventory and came across something (you) do. So I'm looking at him and trying to breath for the following blame. He says I see who you are he had a book and he dicided to ask me questions about my past knowing I only no little about it that I no I was abused and neglected and assaulted . Well he put a name to my assault , survivors of sexual abuse.. I always new I was different and odd and shut down during a fight and kept to myself all the co-dependent ways I was unaware of any sexual abuse' my A read me 2 pages of the signs and symptoms of sexual abuse and I passed the test with a 100 and the bonus question to.. Now he knows my attitude and negative behavior has not much to do with his drinking and he was able to fix one of his flaws now he feels better. He just opened up the flood gated for me by giving me to much Id on who I am before I even got there. He has activated every unknown trigger yet to come out of me.. Every one of those questions brought me back to the age 4 my first assault he has forced me to remember things that has not surfaced yet. He stated he can see how I'm sick why I feel used why I feel like I have no soul no purpose here, there's no need for Alalon now! It's not from his drinking he says I'm going to the wrong meetings I need a sexual assault sight. All I could do is sit here and listen to him tell me to much info and tears come out. So said thank you for not shoving it my face but jamming down my throat to label me before my PTSD dr had a chance to. Thank you all for hearing me confirm I was not only physical verbal and mentally neglected emotional abuse but add sexual to the list I can see why I don't fit in with Alalon why I can't find my higher power I'm In the wrong group , my A solved my charicters defects . I will not take up a space here in Alalon when some one else can benefit from it

I told him very little about my past because it just surface when he started his recovery . . I should of got up and walked away instead of sit there while he continue to read ry he list of signs that I have and that I show on everyday basis . Things I didn't even know . I feel violated by him telling me things I do and act and not realize I do . I'm so messed up now more so because I can see myself in the mirror now not like before . How am I surpose act and respond to this ?  Take the chance he have me taken to the hospital again. It's so hard not to block him out my head is always open and now there's room for new trouble .  I'm hurt right now and confused did he do the right thing to tell me all this ? Was he truly showing me he loves me by reveal things I did not no . Maybe I'm taking it to QTIP . But dam it.. No more  I'm glad he was able to find his defect and fast to let me know it wasn't his it was mine so I guess he will sleep good tonight