The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
" When will I realize that I need not permit the alcoholics behavior to confuse my life and destroy my peace of mind? When will I learn that there is no compulsion, in law or ethics, that forces me to accept humiliation, uncertainty and despair.
Have I perhaps accepted it because I have a subconscious desire for martyrdom? Do I secretly relish feeling sorry for myself and want sympathy from others?.
Today's reminder:
"I have a right to free myself from any situation that interferes with my having a decent life and pleasant experiences. Every human being is entitled to live without fear, uncertainty, discomfort. I should take a firm stand and hold fast to whatever decisions I make, to help not only myself and my family, but the suffering alcoholic as well.
Constant wavering can only hinder me from breaking out of my present thinking patterns."
from ODAT pg. 13
-- Edited by Bettina on Thursday 5th of September 2013 04:41:36 PM
-- Edited by Bettina on Thursday 5th of September 2013 04:42:18 PM
Thank you for posting the reminder, Bettina! I have to remind myself to repeat that every morning when I get up. It would put the day in the proper perspective.
I like this Bettina. I read something regarding martyrdom as taking on more than my fair share .. growing up so confused, I swear somewhere in my subconscious I must have thought God sent Me into the world to take on the sufferings of all men .. I see how I do this and take on way more than I am supposed to; what I can't see clearly is why would we want to .. Any Clear thoughts ?? kicking around some of my own but not entirely there yet .. maybe another perception would help me get there .. seeing something new but not sure exactly what yet ..
No Me, it was my job to take on all the sufferings,....lol
Alanon has taught me boundaries, and now I'm shedding more responsibility that I took on and now the Dr. said I have had enough of caretaking my Mom. I did what I could do and now I'm letting it go. Now she will go to my Brothers and if there is too much burden there, she will go to assisted living. Where professionals will do for her what she cannot do for herself.
We don't have control of everything or every needy person that comes into our lives. They show up and either we say I'm making a choice. I can say no to some things , and yes to others. Or I can say no to all of it.
It's always up to us...We just dont bend with the winds, we stay as rooted and strong as a Tree. A tree will always be a tree.
