The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Welcome! You can do all that you mentioned right here. You can order literature, attend online meetings and even get an online sponsor to help you with working the 12 steps. You can also participate in learning more and sharing at the message boards here. Keep coming back, it works! TT
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
Hopefully you are going to face 2 face meetings where you hang out...experience...observe the people and "shop" for a sponsor......I found mine on line b/c our alanon grup had broken up and my old sponsor (face 2 face) was getting married and in a dysfunctional on and off relationship, then finally they got engaged, so I cut him loose, b/c I saw he was overwhelmed...
anyway, i found an on line sponsor and we ended up trading phone #s and it worked great....till she betrayed me by sharing my stuff w/another sponsee of hers who happened to be a friend of mine...OOOOPS....Busted!!! I called her out about it BIG time and told her I would warn my recovery mates to stay clear of her b/c if she did it to me and my friend, she was not trustworthy
sooo I went for a while w/out a sponsor, now I counsel with my dear friend of 30 years who is in AA and my other girl hood friend who is in alanon.....it works just fine......I also email w/a few good folks who have earned my trust
I told you this b/c a spnsor is a human being, subject to messing up and I think it is rare that a sponsor really working their program would betray a sponsee...but it is a possibility...
Just watch...observe.....do their actions match their words, AND do they talk about others?? Gossip???? that was my red flag that I did not see in sponsor #2.......
face to face is ideal for shopping for sponsor.......online isn't bad either....its the trust factor that is most important and you can follow your instincts ....good luck
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
I get so much of what I need here. I buy my books and do a lot of self study internet wise. I dont have F2F meetings available in my area either. I have a counselor that I love (fouond him 6 months ago) .... he is very experienced with addicts and alcoholics and family effect (like 30 yrs exp) I dont have a sponser ... I have a lovely step mom of 25 plus yrs and she doesnt judge or hold grudges but allows me to vent. as well as a friend that lived this life for 7 yrs. so I would say they are like my sponser.
Its taken me 7 yrs to feel like I am getting better ..... 7 yrs... sounds insane. But for me the calmness I can feel now at times was worth the time. Am I 100% .... NOPE But there is a light at the end of my tunnel. One day I hope my AH can have a light at the end of his tunnel, but thats his business not mine.
Stay with YOU and Your recovery .... thats all you can control... keep readin literture and seeking help for yourself... this place is a great start .....
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..."expecting the world to treat you fairly because your a good person, is like expecting a bull to not attack you because your a vegetarian "
