Hang in there P, you are doing great working your program despite the craziness.

Sounds like you are doing pretty good with all that is going on around you.  Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and doing the next right thing and the next right thing will unfold.

I remember saying to my sponsor, "I wonder how long it will take for them to hit their bottom, or if they have really hit it this time."  My sponsor replied, "I wonder how long it will take for you to hit your bottom or have you really hit it this time?"  Today I sometimes have to remember that it's equally important I have hit my bottom and celebrate that reality.  No more digging needed.  I'm there.  Now I can put my shovel down.  I don't need to go any further.  I have done a good job with shovel in hand, dug this hole hard and deep.  Now the only direction I need to focus on is getting me back up, and out of this darn hole! And the really beautiful thing is... I don't have to do it alone.  I have Al-Anon, great people and a Higher Power willing to take my hand as soon as I'm willing to reach out.  

John 

maybe, just maybe this is HP's gift to you...we have all been praying for your kids to be safe...maybe now the courts will help you make that happen....

sending strength, 

RP

Honestly, I am trying to stay out of the way and on my side of the street ..   ((((Pushka)))) that is what our program is about.  I remember from this post my own attorney sitting next to me at our court table whispering into my ear "Is this what your were talking about...alcoholism"  I replied "yes and just watch".  He watched abit longer and said "Wow".    It was easier for me to be left in the court room alone with her because I was feeling compassion, empathy and love with no urge to fight.  I was grateful because I compared most of what I was taught in Al-Anon and sponsorhsip and found I was behaving as suggested.  I wasn't alone because my HP was with her and I...I needed HP more.  The judge made an early ruling and then over ruled himself and I went back on program I stood and demanded and then my attorney gave me an alternative perspective, 2 of them one being the judges and the other what would be mine if I chose to fight it.  I got the divorce and I had to pay for it...both sides even after the judge ruled that "he always lays the responsibility for the cost upon the person who calls the action" which was my alcoholic/addict wife.   Let go, Let go, Let God.  It wasn't about me personally unless I looked at the lesson in it.   I learned also that I was practicing what I was preaching to my sponsees and that after inventory made me feel balanced.   This works when you work it.  Compassion and empathy...I was not dealing with my wife...I was dealing with the disease which was killing her and I had more to learn later.   I stayed out of the future and the what do I get out if...LOL...only the divorce.  The disease took everything else and not my serenity in the end or her life and then God used her, for my education on a living example of humility, as my sponsor was showing me, "Being Teachable"...not small and a victim.  I continued to Keep and Open mind because I am powerless and not a good or best manager of my life.  Lots of things would come that I wouldn't expect or want and I had tools if those times did show up and not trying to handle the future now.   I love powerlessness lessons because I get to live in the now, knowing that it is the only moment I can live in.

I wish you well and peace of mind and serenity.  I wish for him an honest attempt at getting and staying sober as my ex-alcoholic/addict  did. HP needs him sober so that he might help another be sober also.  Your own story teaches and for that I am grateful.   ((((hugs))))