The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I shared on top table at the shared meeting at the weekend with my partner present. I am normally quite confident when I share in Al anon but I think because he was there it was different. I shared how alcoholism had impoacted my life and got emotional at one point. then went on to how al anon is helping me to recover. I also made the point that if any AA members wanted my number if they had family members still suffering.
positive outcome a AA member came ans spoke to me at the end and said when i said I lost myself it reminded him of his mum, he took my number and his mum rang me last night I am taking her to a meeting. I didnt feel as though I said all I wanted to however Hp obviously had other ideas ha ha !!!
something did upset me though and I am working through it my sober ABf cam up to me hugged me and told me well done, but then he said thanks for not going into to much detail and made someother comment (ego based). I was upset but did not say anything I wanted him to apologise for my pain after watching me get upset in front of hundreds of people. Although sober (a year) been in AA 4 years and attending meetings he isnt doing the steps etc. I have been resentful I told him I am sick of waiting for him to work his programme ooooooooppppps !!!
I am going to apologise when he gets in from work, I just wanted a hug and for him to achknowledge my pain. ( he did say that it hurt him when I got upset) after baddering from me ooops again. Its just me wanting it all to be ok when we are SLOWLY recovering from this disease. I have slipped I am not perfect but I intend to make amends .
thanks for listening and letting me bash it out
hugs tracy xxxxx
-- Edited by Tracy on Tuesday 20th of August 2013 03:47:52 AM
Hi Tracy Good Job with having the courage to share your truth. I do find it difficult to share my alanon story when family members are present so I understand your feeling about your BF in the room.
Remembering that program is a slow process and that we are Human, find joy in the courage and wisdom that you shared and hold on to the positive experience that you experienced.
It is proof of your strong program that you worked your Steps and went to a Step 10 after processing your feelings.
Good work agreeing to take the person's mom to a meeting
It sound like you had a great experience sharing your story. I think it's great when our sharing increases knowledge and understanding between AA and Alanon. It sounds like your sharing opened that door a little wider. I understand your disappointment concerning your recovering abf's insecurities. You can be proud that with hp's guidance you shared exactly what you needed to share to grown and not to try to influence how your recovering abf works his program. Hugs. TT
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
It took courage to be so vulnerable, good for you. I understand your frustration with your boyfriend. In my experience, I have not seen recovery occur unless one is working the steps. Perhaps your slips will be the beginning of some honest communication? (((hugs)))
Tracy: When I share from the heart with loved ones present, I can get emotional, too. In fact, even sharing from the heart with no loved ones present can lead me to feeling emotional. It always surprises me because I never know when some of the deepest part of me comes up to say hello through tears. If those healing tears come from wounded memories and I need to be hugged or held in some way, it is very hard for me to ask for that. Then, I can feel ticked because my loved ones don't get what I need. Learning to ask for exactly what I need from a loved one and trusting I can handle it if they say no has been and still is a very difficult shift to make for me. Don't know if this is true for you, but it is and has been true for me.
Wow, you had quite an experience at the convention. Good job with the speech. I know how it is to get emotional in front of a bunch of people, some strangers and some close friends. It is hard to stop and take a deep breath and recover and continue. But you did it..... yea for you.
As far as beating yourself up about your bf reaction (that you judged as ego-based reactions), part of being human is always assessing your surroundings and the dangers that may be present. That is certainly judgmental. It must be that way. You are protecting yourself.
My hubby has been in AA for 13 years. I would never speak at a convention when I thought he would be there. I know I would get the same reaction as you received from your bf. He hurt your feeling with his lack of emotional involvement in your history with him. I would get the same. It is all in your expectations. I know how my hubby is. And now you know how your bf is. If you know that going into the relationship, you will not be hurt by their reactions.
Tracy...good job on the share and the willingness to be there for others. Perfect and still progress. You learn also that you can still give your peace of mind and serenity away at times and for me that is always the signal for "Keep coming back". It took me quiet a while to learn how to "always" stay on my side of the street. Thanks for the share on your growth. (((((hugs)))))
