The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I read a story recently- supposedly an AA story so I apologise if you guys have heard it before- but it was the most sensible and compelling reason to throw myself into recovery that I had ever heard. It sparked a change in me.
I'll have to paraphrase but hopefully I'll convey the meaning.
A woman is lost at sea. She's floating around in the ocean, wondering if she will be rescued or if she will drown. She sees big ocean liners go by on the horizon and planes fly overhead, but they are so far away and they can't see or hear her. She grows tired. It's a lot of effort to keep kicking her legs and waving her arms and she's ready to give up.
Then she sees something really weird. She sees 2 people, floating above the water and sitting as if they are in a row-boat. They are making weird movements with their arms as if they are rowing.
They row up alongside her and say "would you like some help?"
The woman thinks she has finally gone crazy and is hallucinating but she says "ok".
So they say "OK, get in the boat".
She feels defeated; she can't see a boat and she says so.
They tell her- "OK, if you can't see the boat just yet, just row alongside us.
She becomes angry. It seems like a cruel joke. "How can I row if I have no oars and I have no boat?"
They tell her- "just move your arms as if you are rowing".
She gets angry and tells them to stop wasting her time, but they stay, patiently beside her and when she has calmed down, they ask, "do you want to come with us or not?"
So, with nothing else to lose, she starts doing as they say, moving her arms as if she is rowing.
Strangely, she seems to keep pace with them as they row and after a while she starts to actually SEE the outline of the boat. She shouts out "I can see it! I can see the boat!" so they tell her to get in. And together they row to the shore.
Well that's how I'm seeing alanon. I've been lost at sea for a good long time now, feeling absolutely hopeless and as if I might die from the injustice and insanity. Like I don't even care if I survive anymore, I just want to punch the ocean and scream at it for drowning me and being such an asshole about it.
But just rowing seems like a much better option, even if I can't see what I am rowing or why. Other people are doing it and they seem to be making out OK.
So I'll just keep doing it and eventually it will come together for me.
I hope I repeated that story right.
-- Edited by Melly1248 on Tuesday 13th of August 2013 04:00:19 PM
Sounds good to me Melly - a longer way to say, Fake it till you make it!
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I am strong in the broken places. ~ Unknown
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another! ~ Anatole France
I was told early on that this is like a two seater bicycle. I pedal and God steers. If I don't do the foot work we don't go any where because God don't pedal, He steers.
:)
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" And what did we gain? A new life, with purpose, meaning and constant progress, and all the contentment and fulfillment that comes from such growth."
Loved the story - this link is a song that I was reminded to listen to again thanks to you sharing this story. I thought I would share it would you : )