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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> My son - the wonder
Post Info TOPIC: My son - the wonder
grateful2be


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My son - the wonder
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Tonight was the first time I've spoken with my son since his surgery mid-week.  My fears for him included his return to drugs after receiving drugs for the surgery AND I stayed out of it.  Let him handle his own stuff with the surgeon he found in ways unknown to me.  Kept my mouth shut.  Since that day, he has made some really good choices in regard to his health and his personal relationships that speak to me of his breaking with previous patterns.  I just listened and supported him (well, except for that one time when MOM came out and strongly suggested he re-bandage the wound to keep it clean and dry.)

He said, "Mom!  You have changed soooo much."  "Oh, yeah?"  "Yes.  I had so much fun with you at the hospital.  My girlfriend said she had a good time with you, too, while I was in surgery."  "Well, honey, I didn't do much except just sit in a chair."  "You're just so calm, Mom.  You're just so different."  "Maybe you've changed, honey."  "Well, Mom, you know that saying, "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."  "I remember that one, son."

Maybe the seeds planted in AA many years ago are beginning to bloom?  I don't know.  I just know it felt good to hear him repeat a slogan.  Something he hasn't done in years.

 



-- Edited by grateful2be on Saturday 10th of August 2013 10:11:04 PM

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neshema2


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((((G)))) Glad you had a good chat w/son

and where there is life, I guess there is hope, hey???? Kinda bummed out tonight, but wanted to say I was happy for you that you had a pleasant time w/him....

Sending him  "go to AA"  mojo, ya never know....



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Breakingfree


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Awesome for you! I am glad you could be there for support and just get to enjoy each other. Sending you love and support on your journey!

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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree

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Debilyn


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BIG

aww  here! hugs honey, debilyn



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wornoutmrsfixit


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You are so right. AA does sink in even if they aren't acting on it right away. I have experienced it with AH at times and have also been told that by addicts who have become sober.So happy that you have had this time and cleared the air a bit between you. Hoping for good changes.

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"Just being there for someone can sometimes bring hope when all seems hopeless." - Dave G. Llewellyn
Cathyinaz


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I'm so happy he went though the surgery well and is getting well.

I'm also so happy that you are staying on your side of the street and not trying to help him. I know what you would have done in the past. I'm the same way. Take control, make sure he is comfortable. making sure he does this and does that, getting food and anything he might want to feel better. Making sure he got home and is resting without a care in the world because mom will take care of it all. Give him some money and leave hoping OK this is it....he is not going to drink/drug anymore.
Week later...boom.....back to the same ole same ole.

I will keep him in my prayers that he will come to realize that mom is not going to be there to take care of it all and seek his own recovery and be proud of it...all by himself with mom's love and encouragement only.

(((( hugs ))))


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 Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth

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Jerry F


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((((Grateful))))...this is how it works...He's heard and is echoing it back.  Pray that it hooks in and that his desire for more remains.  He gave you verification of your own recovery which supports his own new awarenesses and growth.  That is how this works...the program and MIP.  It is part of what keeps me coming back so that I can experience more of the miracles and work for them in my own life.   Thanks for the share. (((((hugs))))) smile



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grateful2be


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Thanks all for your kindness, support, and honest feedback. Such a help to me.

A few years ago, Jerry, he was mad at me because I was detached from the consequences of his disease and wouldn't allow myself to get hooked by the disease manipulations. He screamed at me in an accusatory voice, "Nothing's changed except YOU. I don't know you anymore."
I really haven't changed all that much since a few years ago. I do think his mental state has enjoyed a shift - however temporary or on its way to permanent it might be. It was a touch of heaven for me to relax again in his presence - still knowing that to relax too much would be a mistake based on my past experiences with this disease. Praying for knowledge of God's will for me and the power to carry it out is a daily work for me that helps although it certainly doesn't remove the reality of this disease from my life or his. Al-Anon fellowship helps me stay true to myself and not give in to what I know spells nothing but grief for me.



-- Edited by grateful2be on Monday 12th of August 2013 08:05:22 AM

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Cathyinaz


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This is my first time truly detaching from my son. It has to be this way for a while because I don't trust myself or him. That I mean I can't be around him at this moment. I need to just stay strong and work on me and nothing else. Nothing else matters at this point.

You are doing so well Catherine and I just want to be here to help you and you help me walk though this. There is so many that help us and that we can be grateful for.....to pray everyday for Al-anon and MIP and what it has done for us all.

(((( hugs ))))


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 Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth

Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.

 
xeno59


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Wonderful ! I hope one day to have the same conversation with my son! Your son sounds like a wonderful young man. We forget sometimes in the midst of all the chaos the wonderful qualities our children have. My son is 11 months sober, but not by choice. He is in a jail run halfway house, he is not required to go to meetings but he aside from having a couple jobs, attends classes meant to help ease him back into society. I was watching him at work the other day and he looked so happy & healthy. the person he was before the addiction took that away from all of us. He is a very loving kid but the minute i mention how great he looks or how proud we are he just shuts down. He still doesn't want to hear about recovery. So I will take and treasure these moments and keep them in my heart always
God Bless

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