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this is harder than it seems ... but I am ! Once again AH was told he could come home if he was SOBER ! afer three days SOBER .. he left work early yo watch our son and take him to practice. I went with my duaghter to have skin cancer removed (a 4 hr drive round trip and a 1 1/2 surgery) Came home and my son is at my neighbors swimming (thankfully I have wonderful neighbors) and my drunk husband is mowing grass in the dark.
I said ... you drink ?? he said I thought one day would be ok since I did so much for you... but I forget your never happy..
I said ... when you came back it was only if there was NO drinking... he said want me to leave ?? I said yes, that is what your choice was ...
He has called about sharing a lawyer etc .. and I said that was fine.. then he started the whole bullpoo about being a victim and blah blah blah (Im sure youve all heard it)
I said If I were you Id be at the AA meeting that starts in 10 minutes ..AND I HAVENT ANSWERED PHONE OR TXT SINCE (YAY ME!!)
As much as I dont want a divorce.... I dont want to come home to someone that exhaust me more than the stress in life that I cant control (like my daughters surgery)
So maybe he'll get help ... maybe he wont..... not my problem anymore
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..."expecting the world to treat you fairly because your a good person, is like expecting a bull to not attack you because your a vegetarian "
Yes, Bettina is so right...he has no shot unless he has recovery and he has to want it and want it badly. Take care of this precious life you have been given...you are so worth it.
Good for you!!! Big hugs sending love and support! Hugs p :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Yes, Bettina is so right...he has no shot unless he has recovery and he has to want it and want it badly. Take care of this precious life you have been given...you are so worth it.
Soooo agreee with Bettina and PP here........NO chance unless hes in recovery, working it as hard as he can and sincerely......you did GREAT hanging on to your boundaries......I love it when I see a fellow alanoner take care of themselves.....and yes, that precious life you gave.......Keep coming back...as you know, this alanon stuff WORKS...
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Well .. He showed back up today. Informed me legally I can't make him leave. And I said but mentally I don't have to acknowledge your here. He tried to pull old give me a chance crap. Held my ground as best I can. Stayed in other parts of house. Took care of my daughter. Then time for bed came. I picked up my two little dogs said prayers with my son. And when I shut my bedroom door. I heard him say. Oh .. Ill just sleep with H (our son). So I'm holding ground as best I can since he just leaves and comes back and won't stay gone. ??? Or am I not ??? With my daughter having skin cancer I can't file for divorce and loose his ins. So I'm totally detaching instead I guess.???
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..."expecting the world to treat you fairly because your a good person, is like expecting a bull to not attack you because your a vegetarian "
I would check the laws on that .. my stbax has to carry the kids on his insurance even after the divorce is finalized so don't let that be the reason you stay. As around and find out, .. I known how scary that can be and based upon how old your daughter is there are lots of programs around for kids.
Don't let him bully you though because it becomes a wear you down process.
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
