The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Since lowering my expectations even with the dependable people and zeroing the expectations of some others (in my outter circles) I am soooo much less encumbered w/resentments.....my old sponsor told me , unrealistic expectations are premeditated resentments...
Now some "expectations" are fair.....I "expect" close relationships to show me respect...honesty.....actions match their words....be there for me most of the time....treat me as they want to be treated....loyal.....do not abuse me or betray me.....SURE...those are *fair* expectations, but if the other cannot give them, then its up to me to re-assess the relationship and maybe either walk away from it or put them in an outter circle....the boundary has to be within me, the change has to be in me........
This is a hard one for me, I have heard that expectations are future resentments in the making before. I tend to have high expectations and need to let go of them even when dealing with myself. Thanks for this!
__________________
Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
I had my feelings hurt today because of an expectation I had of a couple of old friends. First, I took my inventory, then I released it to God. It is what it is and I don't know the bigger picture as to why it happened. It has set me free and I am not sending out any negative joo joo to them.
