It's Sunday morning.  The sun is peeking through the trees that surround my home, My dogs have all been outside and done their thing.  Now I sit here with a cup of coffee and I kinda giggle at myself.  Last night I got a call from my son.  He, his girlfriend, another young lady friend of hers, and her mother were going to Carolina Beach to stroll the boardwalk, hit a few bars, just hang out and watch a few bands playing in some clubs there, and they have a summer carnival there every year.  I could tell he really did want me to go with them, he was making it sound like a great family outing.   In any event, he asked if I wanted to join them, her mother didn't want to go with them and be a third leg in the group, and "besides we could surely use a Designated Driver".  As awkward as it felt, I also felt that it was something asked of me in a good spirit, and I wasn't doing anything else, so...Why not?  I went to their place, hung out there for about an hour and then we headed to the boardwalk on the beach.  My gosh, what a experience.  They seemed to be using me as their "good behavior monitor".  If dad was okay, they were doing good!  LMAO  They did have a few drinks, but nothing over the top, and while they loosened up some, no one appeared to be on the way to getting drunk.  Mother seemed very self conscious, and didn't want to drink alcohol if I wasn't drinking, and I even told her that if she wanted to have a drink, don't deny herself one on my account, while I couldn't drink it myself I was not opposed to others having a good time and enjoying themselves.  She said she was just glad she wasn't the only "older adult" there and didn't need a drink to have fun.  I liked that.  It turned out to be a relatively good night.  We all had fun, rode a bunch of crazy, scary rides at the carnival, and enjoyed the music of two really good bands.  I am glad that my initial fears and concerns about it possibly turning into a "drunk fest", didn't get to make the decision.  

As an untreated Al-Anon, without a program I am sure that I have denied myself a lot of opportunities to have fun and enjoy myself.  I mean, my gosh, all the things I didn't do and places I didn't go, because my brain paints pictures of horrid results when the word "alcohol" or "drinks" get included in the description.  Especially when I know an active alcoholic is going to be present.  My knee jerk reaction is to say "No, I think I'll pass, ya'll go have fun."  Two things came into play in last nights decision.  First, I wouldn't be stuck any where I didn't want to be.  I had my car and could and would leave if I was not enjoying myself or things were getting uncomfortable for me.  I even told them..."if you want to drink that's your business, but if you act like idiots as a result then it becomes my business, and I will leave your drunk asse's at the beach and drive home, does everyone understand?"  That was my "good behavior warning" and they seem to have taken it to heart.  People know I don't say with my lips what my body won't follow.  Second thing I had on my side is this program.  Learning how to have fun, learning that the word "no" with a period is a full sentence, learning that I cannot control people, places and things, and trying to only makes a bad situation go from bad to worse.. for me.  And lastly, that my boundaries are not really set on any one else, they are mine, and I state what they are, and then I honor them when the situation warrants it.

I might be growing up.  Although you couldn't tell if you saw me at the carnival last night.  I was like the biggest kid in the crowd.  

Hope all of you have a great Sunday.

John