The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I just don't know but I'm having a really hard time dealing with this.
I won't do anything stupid like calling him because I just know that would start this mess all over again. I have to believe he will find his way and seek help. I fear him being on the streets but I also have to remember he did it not me. I HAVE to be strong and start worry about myself or I'm going into the nut house.
Just had to write this......makes me feel better.
I guess I was never really prepared for this day.....but it too shall pass... I HOPE AND PRAY
God, give me the courage to cope with the situation that threatens to rob my peace of mind..
-- Edited by Cathyinaz on Friday 2nd of August 2013 01:11:58 PM
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
I will fill in the blank , deluded, You are deluded if you think you can do this on your own.
Alanon is not wrong when they say this disease is cunning. You think you got it handled and then Wham!
I cant count the times I got caught kicked in the gut because I thought I could do it on my own.
It is our ego's that make us act in independent ways and our insecurity of people finding out that I have to depend on something outside of myself, only to find out its all about whats inside myself.
Sorry if it sounds like I'm coming down hard on you but you are fairly new to Alanon, how could you quit before you finish your journey . Its like traveling on a highway with loads of traffic and obstacles to admire the sunset over the ocean. How can you admire it if you stop in the middle of the journey.
We at MIP won't let you, lol... so there.
Best in recovery, Bettina
-- Edited by Bettina on Friday 2nd of August 2013 03:13:00 PM
One of the things I heard most often in open AA groups by guys and gals sitting there who had been through detox, in rehab, and in recovery was this: They ended up where they were because all other doors were closed to them. It was the only one that opened. They were glad it did. Many were estranged from family and friends. Not one person new to recovery and AA ever said they entered recovery because all their basic needs were met and their families were there with them. I'd feel awful. I'd go to one of those meetings. I'd go home feeling grounded and strong. In the outside world, I'd run into people in the course of my work and volunteerism who had had miserable lives and stopped drinking. Their lives didn't turn around in huge, huge ways, but they were no longer in trouble with the law, living on the streets. They had jobs, a home to live in and people who cared about them. I'd ask them what helped them stop drinking. One guy told me, "I got sick of sleeping in cars."
This is a one day at a time process in a one day at a time program. We slip. We fall. We get back up again. We start over. I've known people in Al-Anon for a lot longer than me who have worked their program for a long, long time. They still slip. Just not as often. I just don't think we ever ARRIVE. I think we just continue to "practice, practice, practice" as Jerry always says.
Glad you're posting, going to meetings and lighting your candles. I always like seeing you at the boards. I don't like seeing you calling yourself names, sister. You're a friend of mine. And our books always help me, too. Forum is a good magazine if you don't already get that?
You might even end up writing an article for our CA magazine.
-- Edited by grateful2be on Friday 2nd of August 2013 03:23:56 PM
Thank you guys I'm reading right now. I let everyone go. My sponsor, counselor, woman's group but I have been attending meetings. To be honest I thought I was good and can do it on my own. What a _____ fill in the blank) I am.
I have ALL the books and Al-anon material so I will reading tonight. I should have known this day would come and I would not be prepared.
Just lock me in a Al-anon room and throw away the key....
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
I really feel your pain.. I too as you may know that I have an addict son even though he is in rehab going on 3 months, I still hurt, cry, get so depressed. But he had hit his rock bottom to realize that he needed help. Honestly it was going to be his life or mine.. Yes call me selfish but I couldn't go on seeing my son kill himself.. I believe when he seen me go through his hell he realized he needed help as far as he could get it. I am and always have been my sons biggest enabler regardless of what I was going to have to deal with, but I seen myself too live his addiction with him. We love our children there is no age limit that will tell us to stop caring for them or possibly doing for them. But I'm realizing that I was also killing my son. I have to hold on to the recovery wagon because I have fallen so huge in my depression. God bless.. Take care of you.
I'm just so happy to have you all as my cyber friends and I'm lucky and thank HP for bring me here.
I did wrong by me....Bettina your right and I'm thankful for your truth letting me know I'm went the wrong way.
Catherine... I promise I will practice practice practice. crying...
Gaby...I'm so sorry but please let go and let him do this completely on his own. Don't step in anymore.....don't do what I have done. Take care of you my friend because you are worth it...just like me.
This is such a terrible, heartbreaking disease.......
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
((((((((((((Cathy)))))))))))) I know...its tough......it feels like u cannot see the end of this tunnel, but the light IS THERE
hang on girl...You can do it....read the literature....do the "S" prayer (the only prayer that I will do) post here if ya need to.....I will hang loose and stay logged on if ya need to just go back and forth here and post....
U can do this....And I know all about going AWOL in program and thinking 'Oh I dont' need this" yep...I dare anyone to say they havn't at least thought of going awol or sliding some......
Ok, you got your reading and you have the "S" prayer....just keep focusing on your breathing....your body....be mindful of what is around you....when you walk, feel the air between your foot and the floor, if you drink something, feel your mouth on the rim of the cup/glass and just do "mindful" "in your body" stuff to kinda force yourself to stay in the now......when you type, feel the slick key board and your fingers typing
you CANT fret about him , if you are totally absorbed in yourself..........come on....breathe......feel the air going in your nose......feel your stomache rise.....feel the air leaving
just keep doing "grounding" things and you will ride this out....
PEACE, my friend
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
I wish I were out there in AZ. I would put my arms around you and give you a big hug and you would give me one too.
We both have sons who we love dearly but need to stay away from. I now realize that all the "help" I gave him over the past 8 years prevented him from growing up.
Stay strong. Giving him the freedom to suffer consequences and make choices is the best gift you can give him.
