The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I come here, read posts...try to give useful ES&H and I am thinking I know I am Coda, I know I am an Acoa, and I THINK I am alanoner as well....
I do hope I fit in here in some way ...I know my posts are sometimes long...I cut to the chase...I am about as open as the grand canyon, I don't even try to hide anything b/c what wold be the benefit in that???? I want so bad to recover, and I am what I am because that is what I am ...Good, Bad, Middle...What you see is what you get...And I am striving to be a better ME
I saw a post on Facebook John Lennon said that "being honest won't get you a lot of friends, but it will get you the right ones"....Maybe that is part of the reason why my friendship and family base is small, but very healthy and supportive of me..
Why did I ask whether or not do I fit????? Here is what I was thinking about
My drunken dam and sire are dead ========= out of my life
my drunken Husbands...I divorced==========out of my life
I have two alkie and druggie brothers.....1 is just an Alkie....the other is both, I still have them in my life, but will NEVER let them live with me...I just can't handle the drama, chaos, stress of having those guys at my house...I love both of them, but at a distance...
Both want to visit...I have said "no" to take care of me
I came here originally b/c of the fallout and the impact these people have had on me and it still continues in that the exposure to them was for SO long, SO destructive that I will be in recovery for the rest of my life....
I am thinking of the post I answered re: functioning vs non functioning alkies and I gave my take which turns out I was wrong.....I really thought there were levels where they go from functioning and if they don't get help, then they go to the REAL low level of non functioning....I was incorrect and I take responsibility for that and the amend, I guess, is to keep learning and keep sharing what I learn.
Also I know my zealous "urging" of people to get into meets...work the steps....get a sponsor, read the literature, et al, may sound dismissive or scolding or may just piss some people off, but it is saving me and I cannot emphasize enough the importance of working ALL the components of alanon, 12 steps....So I "urge" people a bit zealously b/c I want EVERYONE to benefit from this great program..
I suppose on a board like this or any other community, where we are all sharing our hearts and showing , kinda, what we are like on a human level, we are not gonna "like" everyone on the board that we encounter....I may not be liked by 50% of my fellow alanoners, however, I DO LOVE the spirit of this community and the hard work we all put into our life journeys and , really, the program started out being my higher power...Not any person, but the program and what it is about..
So even the ones whom I may not "like" or maybe there is stuff they don't "like" about me, I have the utmost respect for all of us here who have the guts, determination, willingness, openess, honesty and humility to come here...Share our ups and downs...Victories and Mistakes, laughter and tears, bravery and fears, and strive to just be a better , healthier people....
Here we are..All equals...Some know more about some stuff than others and vice versa.......I see some of you are in the mental health or addiction/recovery fields, and that is so neat to read what you all have to say....I am learning....I hope I contribute.......
I cling to this program b/c it has helped me more than any paid mental health expert has..I saw 3, I think in my recovery life...One actually set me back..The other two were pretty good, but they didn't identify w/me in that they know their stuff, but they were never in the same foxhole as I was..They could never identify with my pain...Why I felt and still to a lesser degree , thanks to the steps, feel..Nobody that hasn't been there done that CAN...
I am gonna try to diversify my program a bit....Post on here, yes... AND, I need to get to more meetings and do the steps workbooks more...Also more work w/my recovery mate...So if ya don't see as many posts, its because I am working a workbook or in a meeting....I just need to spread my eggs in more baskets....
For all I know this decision to diversify might be the best news you guys got, LOL.. .
I'm Off to pool and then this BIG boundary worksheet I made up for my recovery mate and I to work together...
And THANK you to the good souls who dropped by my "feeling lousey" post to cheer me up...I was in Pain!!!! Gotta eat the easier to digest foods till I "settle down" a bit....I am paying the price for going AWOL on my program for as long as I did....another lesson learned
CHEERS.....and stay cool...
__________________
Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Miracles in Progress, like alanon is a come as you are program. If you feel you need to be here then you are welcomed into the family no questions asked.
Alanon's Tradition 3 states "the Only requirement for membership is that here be a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend"
I think that would make the entire world eligible.
We all come here for one reason. To heal, to get ESH and vent our problems out with others that understand every knook and cranny of Alcoholism. Some post short and some post long stories. We read them and tell them what's in our hearts and give any ESH we can. You neshema are no exception. You are here to heal and we love and support you.
As far as functioning and non functioning alcoholics. We know no matter what stage they are in they are still very sick sick sick. But me, I once called my son a functioning alcohol because he took care of himself. I'm not wrong it's just the way I feel. Let go because it isn't that big a deal. We live and learn something new everyday no matter how old we are.
(((( hugs )))) you are here for a reason so don't go away and stay cool
PS: Old Al-anon slogan " We take what we like and leave the rest"
__________________
Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
Miracles in Progress, like alanon is a come as you are program. If you feel you need to be here then you are welcomed into the family no questions asked.
Alanon's Tradition 3 states "the Only requirement for membership is that here be a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend"
I think that would make the entire world eligible.
Hey Betty thanks for trad. #3....that says it...I thought I qualified but asked anyway just to be sure......and I do have REAL close friends who are "A's" , they all work and still can take care of themselves, but for how long???? I really care about my dear friend next door..he is like baby brother to me, but I can't control his drinking or cure it or do anything but detach from the drinking and love the nice guy who takes care of my truck, protects me when I am frightened...Hes a dear...known him my whole time in TX so that is over 20 years.....he is an alcoholic , I am powerless, so I love him to death, but don't deny....he needs AA...
__________________
Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
We all come here for one reason. To heal, to get ESH and vent our problems out with others that understand every knook and cranny of Alcoholism. You neshema are no exception. You are here to heal and we love and support you.
But me, I once called my son a functioning alcohol because he took care of himself. I'm not wrong it's just the way I feel. Let go because it isn't that big a deal. We live and learn something new everyday no matter how old we are.
(((( hugs )))) you are here for a reason so don't go away and stay cool
PS: Old Al-anon slogan " We take what we like and leave the rest"
Hey Cathy, yea, I sooo want to heal....to be a better person....to heal as you said....and I love and support my fellow alanoners, the spirit of this program.
((((((Hugs))))) back at ya and re: Tradition #3, I do belong...And As you said we are here to heal.......
I aint going anywhere, as to stayin cool???? OMG...Went to pool and it was packed w/some day care kids ...so till about 3pm, swimming was like maneuvering in a maze but they left and I was able to get some good laps in and enjoy the cool water....
Now its time to feed my hungry body....easy does it foods to heal my digestion track for a while, then relax...Work tomorrow, and NEXT week is the last week pool will be open., so my exercise routine will have to be solely my dancing...too hot to run, so dance inside when pool closes....I LOVE that pool...its run by college kids and they have to get back to school, so it closes this year Aug. 11th...DANG!!!!!!
Later Gators
__________________
Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
our problems stem from being with an A, otherwise I wouldnt still be here.
I have no Alcoholics in my life anymore, but I do know it will take a lifetime of recovery for me and I want to help others, I want to be of service. That is the goal , to be of service whenever I can. I don't have all the answers, but I do have the experience of living with the disease. So do you Neshema.
We are all Pearls linked together.
Hey Bettina , yea, we DO have experience, alright, LOL....DECADES of it, so yea, we do have something to learn, something to share.....yea, I am glad I brought this up b/c I thought "geez" I am not living with any A's anymore, but I do have 2 brothers and dear friends who are , but not living with me...or that I am dating or whatever, but I DO have experience with the disease and its aftermath, that is for SURE....I love your last line about us being "Pearls linked together" We sure are
__________________
Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Neshema, I very much appreciate you and your posts...no BS and I like that.
Hey Paula, thanks and yea, like John Lennon said, about being honest...I would rather attract the right kind of people b/c noone who is a con or a "BS'r" is gonna want me for sure.....
I had to ask b/c I forgot about tradition #3....and Paula, I like what you have to say as well...
__________________
Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
