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As a former volunteer at a shelter when I saw a cat or dog "walk out" I was overjoyed and yea, maybe a bit too profuse on the praise to adopter b/c doggie or kittie didn't end up being euthanized
Also, I take compliments and relish them now b/c I had so much of the opposite....I like to give AND receive now...joy is joy...to the giver and receiver......just my take....
-- Edited by neshema2 on Wednesday 31st of July 2013 10:20:17 PM
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
I like genuine affirmations of me - not what I do. Since I grew up in a family where the words honey and other terms of endearment were used sincerely, I tend to like those words unless they are used by someone with a tone that is down stroking. I don't like to be fussed over but it makes me feel good when somebody takes the time to do something as simple as leaving a porch light on for me at night or bringing me a cup of coffee. I most especially don't like people tending to me when I'm sick. I prefer being left alone.
PS: SJ - I "fostered" 5 kittens 4 weeks old that had been abandoned by their Mom. In the end, I couldn't let them all go. I found homes for 4 and kept 1. Now, I have 3 cats. There was a time when I was scared to death of cats and now can't seem to do without them. Dogs are too much responsibility for me. I'm lazy that way. But I love having the cats. You may end up falling in love with this little one? Keep us posted.
-- Edited by grateful2be on Wednesday 31st of July 2013 11:31:31 PM
My name is slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of the worldwide fellowship of al-anon.
I decided that it was getting lonely in my apartment and I wanted to get some companionship. I have decided to foster a cat through my local SPCA. After I agreed to the cat, the volunteer on the other end of the line kept saying 'bless my heart and how wonderful I am to be opening my home to an animal in need.' Which is great !
I said thank you however, part of me felt really annoyed. Like it wasn't a big deal. Like enough was enough.
In the al-anon literature one of the 20 questions was 'Do you fail to recognize your accomplishments?' and i think this falls under that.
I used to have a hard time accepting positive feedback, too. Somehow I came to know that I was not honoring the other by refusing their gifts. It was from that place that I was finally able to take them in with gratitude. I am going to give you some positive feedback now, so you can practice....it was a great insight that you had this awareness. Now, perhaps it will be easier to receive. And, since I spent my college years working at a humane society, I am very happy that this little kitten has a home with you.
Yeah, I guess because to me, it's just me being me and I don't feel there is anything to fuss over. I don't know. I would never tell anyone that it annoys me, but I feel like I am missing something.
I too don't like to be fussed over either and I have a hard time accepting compliments. She might have over done it a little but the SPCA sees so many cats killed they go a little overboard with the praise I think.
I guess we need to say thank you and leave it there like you did.
Now adopt two and watch the enjoyment with them both playing with each other.. No harder to take care two as it is one.
(((( hugs ))))
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
I like genuine affirmations of me - not what I do. Since I grew up in a family where the words honey and other terms of endearment were used sincerely, I tend to like those words unless they are used by someone with a tone that is down stroking. I don't like to be fussed over but it makes me feel good when somebody takes the time to do something as simple as leaving a porch light on for me at night or bringing me a cup of coffee. I most especially don't like people tending to me when I'm sick. I prefer being left alone.
yea, more like a positive on my character, and it does feel good after hearing so many abusive words thrown at me....but it HAS to be sincere, of course...nothing worse than a phoney being all nicey nicey to set me up to get me to do or give them something....and I can relate to the sick thing.....I wanna be LEFT ALONE....I will ask if I want or need something.....the word being "fussed over" I don't think I would like that too much....when my cousin lived with me for a while, she was perfect when I would be down w/my ptsd....she basically left me alone, but would bring me stuff to drink and kept things quiet for me so I could ride it out......
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
We're TWINS!!!!!! That's what I like, too!!!! Just bring me something to drink if you're here and don't worry about me for at least 3 days if you're not. Grin.
Sounds like you have a bit of a problem with "gushers" Jim. Hey look at where she works...SPCA for gawds sake. You take a cat and she doesn't get to see another one put away. You've done her and may be the cat also (you'll find out later on). I would HATE to work at the SPCA. Yes I love to see people, mostly kids, smile and laugh and hug the puppies and kitties and yes I can't even fanthom putting one down...When they get ill...so do I...if they get ill I project a funeral procession. You did both a favor Jim...you did a good thing and in time maybe you will agree with that. Name the kitty yet? Hope it gives you positive feedback from the start. (((((hugs)))))
I've had more than one friend get a puppy on a whim and a year later get rid of it because "there was no space", "it was too much work" or
"it wouldn't behave", and it breaks my heart every time. Usually by then the animals are already adults and it's much more difficult for other
families to adopt them. My parents also had to put down our dog when I was a kid because there was no space or time for it, and they didn't know
what to do with such a massive animal.
Okay so my point is, I have *such* sympathies for all those animals at animal shelters, and I'm sure the people at the shelters have too (they have to live
with the knowledge that the animals will be put down if no one takes them). I wasn't there, maybe there was too much gushing, and in an ideal
world doing the humane thing shouldn't need to be praised. However, each and every one who adopts from the shelter deserves a BIG hug from me! All those
doggies and kitties deserve a loving home. I think you're selling yourself a bit short, if you feel as if you feel you don't deserve the thanks. (Although, here it
is worth noting, that again, it's good you didn't get an animal just for the praise!)
I personally have lately had a stint where everyone seems to be rude and in such a hurry to get to places, and then suddenly someone out of the
blue will hold the door open for me or smile or help someone with their baby carriage or luggage, or whatever, and it just makes my day! I feel like some
genuine positive feedback is sometimes just really worth it!
I hope that was at least a bit insightful. :)
-- Edited by Turris on Thursday 1st of August 2013 11:30:52 AM
I'm laughing at myself thanks to your share. Well, walked into the Vet one day and was told "Have this kitty that needs a home, owners say it doesn't get along with the other cats!" I say, "I know how it feels" So 14 years later she still lives with me. It wasn't the nice comments about rescuing the cat that got my attention. It was the "attention" period. Alanon is teaching me how to do that for myself. I still struggle but at least think about it when a positive comment comes my way. Used to give excuses as to why I do, am or look the way I am. My response was more than just a thank you and it was always negative. Now, a lot more than pre-program I can actually say "Thank You". pets heal people, me included. All they do is give to you.
No harder to take care two as it is one. 
