The material presented
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information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So not a simple task at this point, .. I'm angry .. LOL .. what a shock I know. Well, I'm not so much angry as I am disgusted, my compassion tank is not empty .. it's beyond empty. I even went to an AA meeting that I left early only because I didn't have one word that was nice to say at that point. I guess my anger fueling what is coming .. I wish I could do this without the anger .. that would be wicked ... in a good way.
I've made a list of all of the things I *think* I can't do in terms of the challenges .. it's one of those what are the things I can change, what questions can I ask, what can I do to better this situation for the kids and I. The other list is everything I have to give to the God of my understanding. I have no idea how it's all going to workout .. it's going to workout.
This weekend I took the kids and we went to a larger town about 45 min away. I still haven't gotten that phone call .. I know I will get it .. lol .. it's that whole preparation time (patience) it's not my time and sometimes the longer I have to wait the better things really are going to be. It just might not workout the way I think it should, I think in the long run it's going to be positive. It was sooo much fun to get out of town for a bit. I haven't been to that area for years I mean I was pregnant with my youngest and had to go to the hospital for high risk pregnancies. THAT'S literally how long it's been since I've been to that town. It was sooo liberating to know I could leave I don't know what has kept me bullied I have to stay in this stupid town!? I'm def going to make sure that I keep things going in the right direction. Regardless of what happens with this phone call I do believe it's time to move. The kids were sooo happy and it was just a really fun time. New experiences for us all. We don't have to stay here and I will not be trapped by a bully.
Hand writing on the wall is pretty scary from where I sit. I do mean I see handwriting and while I'm not his HP .. you kind of go DUH in terms of just straight common sense. I know this is my HP warning me that things have to get different before they get better. The kids and I need to be removed from this situation without question. He's hanging on to not giving me a divorce right now it's scary, .. I don't know who is responsible .. his atty or mine because according to the secretary it's his atty. I keep saying I want an offer to be made let's get this done and I keep being told different things. I'm being straight up lied to at this point by my atty's office. Long story there and I'm not pleased in the least and that will be addressed today. The scary part is this .. my atty or his atty .. this should be illegal. 18 months of him being out of the house 14 months of the divorce drama and nothing has been resolved .. the only thing that has happened is that he has to pay however it's not helping the kids and I because he's not paying ALL of what he should.
Anyway, lots of things going on .. by the end of the week I should have some answers on many things.
Thanks for listening, P : )
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
I can honestly understand having to leave the meeting early because you didn't have one nice thing to say. Been there, and dealing with it currently.
I think the atty stuff, there's been so much to happen, you have done such an awesome job keep track of everything! Just keep doing the next right thing!
I'm so glad that by the end of the week you will have more answers!
I stayed in my small town for a year after my divorce feeling like I had to, but sure enough I moved 45 minutes away and it is heaven having space and a new life all my own. I do miss my girlfriends and church, but I have made new ones and can still talk to and see the old. My kids are doing great here in the schools which are better and the options are amazing. I learned I was allowed to move 150 miles away without even having to address the court which my exAH had told me wasn't true, well turns out it was true. So with that being said find out what your options are and live it up. I know about the finances and trying to foresee what is coming down the pike, but the truth is we can hardly ever see it, but it does work out every time! I know you know this and have already have seen it at times as have I. On my own I never imagined, but I have had to get on rental assistance in my county and get help through social services to make it work, but it works and I am back in school and will be able to afford it better in 2 more years without the help. I never believed I could be heading here and I am and I can. And so can you, dream big sister and go get it! Sending you love and support!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
I'm shocked at how much control I continue to allow him to have when in reality I'm the one living in a prison with no bars. Well he is too .. this is me I'm talking about .. lol.
Got some atty stuff dealt with and I am representing myself in the OP and it's been extremely educational. Everyone has been great with suggestions and doing the next right thing.
At this point I do have some choices and I also am SOOOO glad I took a course of action I did nothing is showing on the website that should be and I def need it to be in order to bring it up at the next court date. I have to decide how to approach that issue. There are going to be a ton of eyeballs on me that day especially being I'm doing this on my own now. I will have to tread very carefully.
I'm excited to think about dreaming and that has been something that I have finally been able to start doing.
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
So Sorry that this is Still Dredging you Down, I Remember when you Got here, and the Struggles you have Over Come this Far, and I have Know doubt that you will be Awesome in Court, You have a Great Program Behind you for Support, and Knowing that you are Only about your Kids best Interest will benefit you... Holding on to HP thru out the Process will keep you Grounded, and in the Moment...
I think you should be Very Proud of Yourself for Doing all that you have With Little Help! Good for you for Taking care of yourself and Leaving town for the day to see that there is LIFE out there, and i Hope you also seen you DESERVE A Good One!
Glad to Pop on and see you Here, still Moving Forward thru the MUCK! You Can Do It Girl, Head Up & Charge on, for We Can't He Can And We Should Let Him ;)
Pushka I wish you well in court; your situation is exactly why I offered my ex what I did to entice him to sign the divorce papers quick before he had time to consider things. He would have dragged it out as long as he could, deliberately costing me lawyers fees to hurt me as much as possible. (the cost of HIS lawyers fees no mind to him because he wouldn't pay them anyway!) Now all it costs me is motorcycle payments because he doesn't have any consequences for not paying them - oh well, i'm free of him at least. Good luck with court!
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I am strong in the broken places. ~ Unknown
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another! ~ Anatole France
Pushka I keep saying I want an offer to be made let's get this done and I keep being told different things. I'm being straight up lied to at this point by my atty's office. Long story there and I'm not pleased in the least and that will be addressed today. The scary part is this .. my atty or his atty .. this should be illegal. 18 months of him being out of the house 14 months of the divorce drama and nothing has been resolved .
This sounds kinda bad, if u r being lied to and can show that, I just wonder if that is ethical on the lawyer's part...Either he/she is for you or I would dump them AFTER I filed a grievance, if they are taking your money and helping him.....I don't know all the details...sounds like U R on top of things and yea, divorce is a messy thing but necessary if the marriage is so toxic it harms all in it (kids especially).....Hope U get stuff resolved...
re: the leaving the meet bc U had nothing good to say??? I had that happen to me, too...I was early in my own recovery and still raw...On suggestion of my sponsor, I go to an open AA meet, I go and people are sharing about the good parts in their marriages to the A and the good parts of their drunken parents or siblings, et al and I couldn't stomache it.....I had ZERO good to say at the time and so I left....
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Hope you had a good, old fashioned "set to" with your attorney...he/she works for YOU. If the atty is doing something without your knowledge or permission...that is not cool, and may get him in trouble with the bar in your state.
Weird how the divorce process is almost like a parallel reality...I felt like I had gotten sucked into a vortex...for months.
