Al-Anon Family Group

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> So when are you going to quit?
Post Info TOPIC: So when are you going to quit?
Jerry F


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 13696
Date:
So when are you going to quit?
Permalink  

 

 

My friend asked me and I responded "How do I look"?  He took another look and said "You always look good...and healthy" which caused me to smile and reply..."then I can keep on going huh"?  He laughed and went away.  Today wasn't one of those keep on going days...PTSD gets you first in the mind and then crosses the narrow hallway to the emotions and then together they keep you awake and mentally/emotionally busy which tires the body heavily and then...and then the spirit; the motivation and the intention to participate in this thing called "my life".  I didn't do any unintentional physical damage to myself like I did 3 weeks ago and I did come home exhausted and not willing to participate in my legal defense from the police assault.  I went down and cancelled my participation in my home group after trying to impress my wife with something that I knew would not impress her.  I don't want any cheese with the whine...I don't want the whine.  Had to drug myself last night to stay under.  Don't drink anymore and do drug on purpose.  This is not recreational it's survival...almost...not quite for today.   I know what better days are like and are expecting them.  For now I will have to curl up in my HPs embrace and let myself be rocked to sleep.  Thanks for the shares.  I love all the hope and gratitude shares...Awesome!!  (((((hugs))))) smile



__________________
grateful2be


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 7576
Date:
Permalink  

Gosh, Jerry. I'm not sure what to say in response to your share. I'm kind of thrown off by the subject line and then the information about taking drugs? So.......I'm just going to say (and yes I know I have the opportunity to say nothing at all) I think I'm understanding that you've had a really rough day, you don't feel good, you need rest, and you're soaking in the gratitude and hope shares that you'll use to help yourself sleep in peace. Here's one more to add to you cyberspace lullabye - I'm grateful to HP(GOD) for you.



__________________

"Darkness is full of possibility." Leunig
neshema2


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3281
Date:
Permalink  

Dear (((Jerry)))

As a survivor of PTSD, I so relate to your post....sending you virtual support and comfort from one who can relate to the havoc ptsd can do to the entire body

I, too have to curl up and nurture me and I do meds ea. day for the anxiety and still, I do get "knocked down" by the ptsd and what it does to the body...

all those chemicals flooding my hippo campus and coursing through my head, I feel like the pressure in my head, not like a headache but like an innertube around my head..I can't think straight, I can't do really high executive thinking, I just have to quiet down , drink a lot of water to flush out all those fight or flight chemicals and ride it out

I am tireder the older I get, from mental and emotional "experience overload"  so I need more rest at time

Pleeeeeze take care of yourself and know that there are a lot of us who can relate to how crappy you feel and can relate and empathize with you....It will go away, in time, and we just begin again.....

So sorry you had a shitty day.....Please take care...sending virtual hugs and PEACE energy your way......

 



__________________

Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!! 
Peggy7


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 653
Date:
Permalink  

A great fight is going on inside of me...says the grandfather to his grandson...

It is a terrible fight, and it is between two wolves...

One is evil...he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority and lies, false pride and superiority ...

The other is good...joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility and kindness, benevolence,  empathy, generosity, truth and compassion... 

And faith...

The same fight is going on inside of you...

And inside every person too..

Which wolf will win asks the grandson of the grandfather...

The one you feed the wise grandfather replies...The one you feed.

 

 



-- Edited by Peggy7 on Thursday 25th of July 2013 12:35:07 PM



-- Edited by Peggy7 on Thursday 25th of July 2013 05:28:15 PM

__________________
Breakingfree


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3972
Date:
Permalink  

(((((((((((Jerry F))))))))))) Hugs and its always okay to lay low until you feel like your old self. Every once in awhile I just need a break, because I go, go, go and once in awhile it catches up to me and I crash. I know for me I am better at it then I used to be but I am still human non the less. Atleast you don't have 2 finals today in microbiology ha. Have a better day. Sending you much love and support!

__________________

Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree

Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666

" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."

"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
PP


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3964
Date:
Permalink  

I find myself where you are Jerry....just get worn out through my bones and don't have the desire or energy to get myself a glass of water, let alone participate in any other part of "life".  Sometimes I just say, "God if it is your will, I am ready to come home".  Then I get a whisper of a voice or a picture in my head that gives me a little nudge...you posted to us so we could be with you for a bit and we answered the call on God's behalf.  I hope you rested well, my friend.



__________________

Paula
Cathyinaz


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3026
Date:
Permalink  

Last night I was in a state I thought would go way beyond where it should go. I let HP take over praying and lighting many candles. I went to sleep.

This morning I go to work and start with a fresh new day. I will not look back... and only move forward

(((( hugs ))))


__________________

 Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth

Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.

 
pinkchip


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 5663
Date:
Permalink  

Life can be challenging Jerry. Just know that I see you as one of the warmest and most caring persons and your HP has got to have great things in store if karma holds true because you help so many people. So while you have a few "muddle through" days, I hope you stay optimistic even though I know not every day feels good and that is just life I guess. I also know from having depression, that I can have it but not suffer from it most the time. I hope the PTSD gets better like that for you...either resolved or just not suffering. You have an example with your alcoholism how a disease can be treated and in remission a day at a time contingent on certain things you do. I pray it's the same with the PTSD.

__________________
pinkchip


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 5663
Date:
Permalink  

When you say drugging self jerry I am assuming you are talking about perscription meds for anxiety. I beat myself up for needing those at times because, as you know, there are some AA nazi types that put a vibe out that all meds are evil and wrong. Don't beat yourself up for needing meds for mental health purposes. There is a difference between mind altering and mind restoring medications. You will know the difference between abusing those meds and taking them for their prescribed reason.

__________________
Jerry F


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 13696
Date:
Permalink  

 

 

Another night with lack of sleep and then my spirit is lifted because I got in spirit what I was needing by coming to the board.  Spiritually you lift me and that is the core of me...my "mana" which is only one foreign way of expressing something we all know that we have.  I thank you all for sharing yours with me...it adds.   No you're right Jerry F isn't a "Druggie".  I do prescripts only when needed to keep me as near to mentally healthy as I can or else I make mistakes many of which because of the nature of my chosen work could be very harmful.   I have the emotional character of the alcoholic.  I am a "risk taker" whether my head is in it's right place or not.  My mantra is "I can" and I behave within that spiritual mantra...I need to listen to the voices of my elder sponsors who responded to that mantra with "but should you"?   I must keep practicing letting go and trusting others including Higher Powers...should I?; yes!!  Do I?;  sometimes.  Now?; not much.  This morning MIP and the program of the AFG is my HP.   Sorry to task you and the thoughts and prayers are enough.  Mahalo Nui...Thanks much.  I love you all.  ((((hugs)))) smile

course you all know that and just love it in response...LOL gotcha!!



__________________
el-cee


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 5075
Date:
Permalink  

Hi Jerry, Im sorry to hear you are feeling low. I do know how you feel. Lately I have been feeling a bit out of sorts and believe it or not it is reassuring to know that someone as lovely and wise as you can have times where life is hard. The one thing we have though is our program, just dig in Jerry, you have the tools.x



__________________
DavidG


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 2940
Date:
Permalink  

smile Yesterday I had a slip-up through using comfort food. I was doing well- getting my researches under way. That old demon PTStress is always lurking it seems- along with old sunken messages.

Feeling okay today- and ready to move on...aww



__________________

Each Alanon member is my teacher.                                                                                                                  
hotrod


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 17196
Date:
Permalink  

((Dear Jerry)))

In my thoughts and prayers.  Trust HP and remember to take the meds that the Doctor prescribed.  You are worth it.



__________________
Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
grateful2be


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 7576
Date:
Permalink  

(((Jerry))) Good to see you up and about today on the board. Always seems to me that you bring sunshine in some way.

__________________

"Darkness is full of possibility." Leunig
Debilyn


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3653
Date:
Permalink  

I trust your HP takes over when you are feeling stressed or plain tired. We are blessed with medications to help us. Becuz you used them or use them wisely is not necessarily a bad thing.

Sometimes, very rarely now I can get so out of it I need to rest and start over. To get that rest, I may need a bit of help. I mean a bit. hardly any. 

During this time in my life where my heart is broken, I go by displays of those margaritas or whatever they are in those foil containers and think, ok could down a few of those but why? Then later will hurt all the more. Why do people drink and other drug away emotions? Not asking. just know I am not an A. It does not appeal to me. I need all the strength I have, all my tools to survive right now.

Jer sometimes we need to let go. That defense thing has gone on for years! I sure can see what would make you say, ok time out! You know I am into the Bible and other spiritual things, and all rest. 

Even on Star Trek it always seems like whatever they are facing that is in front of them, that thing rests. Its part of all living things. We as humans are so pushed pulled hurry hurry. What in the world is everyone hurrying about? In check out lines, driving, eating, going to school. for petes sake slow down the freaking pace and take a nap!I would tell my professors proffessers, ah whatever, hey I will need more time on this assignment. oh? I would remind this is MY education it will take as long as it takes to "get" it.

I never get anything in the Bible that was such a hurry. I mean those guys walked all over telling the message. NO one said well hurry in this town cuz the next day we gotta be.....you were there where you were, made it the best.

We all need to vent. I don't believe you whine. that is not your nature. When we share that stuff, it makes us lighter.  I have no one to share stuff with. Sometimes I come here. But sometimes I wish I had someone to listen. Give me their thoughts, how they would handle it. Or if i cannot figure out something, someone to day where to get something, where to go camping even.

I am babblinghuh?

Anyway Jer you are loved here. No doubt about that. Sometimes I find what you say is like a riddle and cannot figure it out! lol but the feeling always feels good.

so don't forget to grab a dog or two and take a nap, or even grab your wife! That might really be a nice surprise!

 

Hugs honey, debilyn



__________________

Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
Breakingfree


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3972
Date:
Permalink  

I keep coming back here and reading and just want to make sure you know how much you are loved Jerry! And for how much I love your ESH and wise words I also love to hear that you are human, because I can relate to that for sure and to be vulnerable and loved even in that moment is the best thing for me. Keep on keeping on. Sending you much love!

__________________

Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree

Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666

" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."

"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
FAITH1988


Veteran Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 44
Date:
Permalink  

Jerry,

Yours was the first post I read when I joined this board almost a month ago! You are allowed to curl up with anxiety meds(I take as well when that feeling of going over the top happens) and HP when need too

So glad you are better.

CYBER HUGS
{{{}}}}}
GROUP CYBER HUG
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Always Faith

-- Edited by FAITH1988 on Sunday 28th of July 2013 10:43:41 AM

__________________

Living 1 day at a time 
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.
Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> So when are you going to quit?