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Hi-Today I had a joint session with a substance abuse/counselor with my son as we are having troubles due to my A. It's going on for 5 months now. It's a long story. In our session I told him he needs a tune-up on his recovery. He is mentally addicted to pot and dependent on pain meds. I printed out info. on location and online meetings. He laughed at me. I am not going to bring it up again for probably a long, long, time, but I had the strength to do it and in front of the therapist. Now the therapist can use it in sessions with my son and it is not confidential. It's so heartbreaking when you see your (grown) child being self-destructive, but then he hasn't had any great role models. His father is 65 and still smoking pot. My son has looked down on that, and my A's addictions, but he is doing the same things. I will continue on my journey to get healthy, Lyne
In our session I told him he needs a tune-up on his recovery. He is mentally addicted to pot and dependent on pain meds. I printed out info. on location and online meetings. He laughed at me. I am not going to bring it up again for probably a long, long, time, but I had the strength to do it and in front of the therapist. Now the therapist can use it in sessions with my son and it is not confidential. It's so heartbreaking when you see your (grown) child being self-destructive, but then he hasn't had any great role models. His father is 65 and still smoking pot. My son has looked down on that, and my A's addictions, but he is doing the same things. I will continue on my journey to get healthy, Lyne
WOW...very very smart move.....I am so sorry your son is using....I have 2 loved ones who are addicts...one on everything, really (brother) and a niece who uses cocaine and meth, now I hear......yes, it is heartbreaking but we are powerless to control or cure them...they either want to live or they don't.....soo sad....and the Dad is not helping by using pot himself....All you can do, Lyne is stick w/alanon and work on you...take care of you...they have to learn their own lessons....I kinda "jump" when I get a phone call and its a calif. number....both of my user loved ones are there and I always think well??? is he or she passed???? Really, alanon has helped me detach....take care of me....toss off me what I cannot control and let go........I do hope things get better....and yes, we shall continue our journeys together......In support, Neshema
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Good job Lyne...drawing the line in the sand...making the boundary and stating the expectation that you want to live with...You probably feel all alone in this and then for real you are doing it for yourself. I once told my alcoholic/addict son "absolutely no one will drink and use in my house" and he got the message at least regarding drinking and using. It also went that if he was enibriated or high he wasn't going to cross the threshold either. How wonderful that all worked out. In support. (((((hugs)))))
Good job Lyne...drawing the line in the sand...making the boundary and stating the expectation that you want to live with...You probably feel all alone in this and then for real you are doing it for yourself. I once told my alcoholic/addict son "absolutely no one will drink and use in my house" and he got the message at least regarding drinking and using. It also went that if he was enibriated or high he wasn't going to cross the threshold either. How wonderful that all worked out. In support. (((((hugs)))))
LOVE the image of drawing the line in the sand......and yea, I learned on this board that boundaries are for me...JUST me...to take care of ME.......
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Setting boundaries and refusing to enable the denial as I see it. Tough, but necessary for you. I see detachment in your post, too. I also see that you said what you meant, meant what you said, didn't say it mean and won't take it back. And I see your willingness to let HP work out things with your son while you work out things with yours. An awful lot of good program work, Lyne.
