Called daughter #2 this am to see if she wanted haircut.....She said she didn't want to today,  sounded like she really was "occupied" so I said,  "hey look, I only called you re: the haircut b/c I had promised to and no worries...its your hair, its your decision, just call me when and if you want it cut"

I am keeping my distance,but not so that if she wants to get into alanon i push her away, but gonna protect my heart....Love her but keep it cool...keep a bit of a distance....not put me out there for her "mind games" and her "head games" on me....NOT gonna happen

So as I was about to exit the call, she said to me  "mom Adan has a fever and I didn't want you to come over and have him cause you to get sick...I want to protect you from getting ill"

Well...If i had been judemental about our call, reading into it things that were not there, I might have missed this attempt of hers to protect me from catching Adan's sickness 

Because I was open, not judgemental, sweet, even tho kinda standing back, I was not "reading into anything"  just taking this one thing at a time, I didn't push HER to clam up, maybe and not tell me that she was trying to keep Adan and his cold away from me

We talked a bit more and I told her that although its a bit too cool, still for the pool, maybe I can pick up Angel, the oldest and take him swimming tomorrow....

She thought that was cool....BUT...to thwart her pulling a change up on me last minute like she does, I am not gonna give warning that  "i'm coming over to p.u. Angel"   so she can sabotage it, I am gonna be smart this time

Just show up...see if he wants to go??? If he does??? We are GONE......daughter dearest won't have time to sabotage me as in the past b/c I won't give her any warning and will just "show up"   she won't be able to come up with a disappointment for me when the kids are jumping in their bathing suits....

Awwww the beauty of this program.....Its teaching me how to get back my "cool" and to "stay calm....think......don't react but respond...and if door A is closed.....open door B"

Yep....even little gains are a gain......