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I am writing a paper on sexually transmitted diseases or to be correct STI's now. I was scrolling through different sites finding resources to cite and I fell across this page of babies and very young children and I am beyond sick and angry that these sites even exist. I already have a hard time seeing through the dark side of people and now I am just disgusted. I have a 5 year old daughter and all I can think is can I let her out of my site now. I found out how to report the site and called the number, now I have to work my program and remember that this is the minority of people. I am sorry to bring this here, but I am really having a hard time letting it go. I had to pray last night after I had a good cry for God to help me let this go and get to bed. This morning it was in my mind again and I have already been aware of child sex trafficking and some of these things that nobody wants to think about, but I now need to really not be taking it personally in order to finish my paper and take an exam today. Any and all ESH in regards to how others deal with knowing and dealing with this stuff would be helpful. Thanks all!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
Remembering that I am powerless over people, places and things as the First Step suggests helps me to live in this insane world. Human behavior can and does go to very dark places. Serial killers, Pedophiles, alcoholism to name a few are all upsetting and unsettling.. I found that Acceptance of the human condition helped me to live in this world, with my eyes wide open .
Glad that you reported this site, came here and shared and took the constructive actions to practice these principles in all our affairs.
OMG.....((((((((((Breakingfree)))))))))) sooooo sorry u stumbled upon another proof that man can be very very very of the darkness
You didn't caues this....You reported the page....You did what YOU could do about it and thats all you can do
My father was a serial offender so this post kinda triggered me a bit, but its time for me to "Woman up" and face this that it does exist....He was evil to the core.....I never was so happy to see someone die and leave this earth as I was about his death....Many Many people in our old community felt the same...I think they knew how evil he was....
UGH, I get nauseated when I think of pedophiles (My sire went after and attacked girls between 13 to say, 17...ALL MINORS who had NO power over him)
Anyway, I have to accept, too, that is evil is "out there" and I did not cause it....can't control it, cannot cure it......
and I have to accept it and try to take care of me, work my program, protect my kids and now my grandkids from this kind of evil....We are very strict about parent control on the g.kids computers......we warn them of never letting a stranger get them close to them, yea, its hard to have to teach your kids and grandkids that this kind of hedeous evil is in our midst...
I will be on meds for the rest of my life for my ptsd and my anxiety.....(sire bothered me and my cousins as well, he was not picky about his victims) my cousin and I talk and hug each other and comfort each other and we lift each other up when feeling down about "why me???" its any child who ever is available to him,, so we no longer feel defective in that this happend to us and many many other young girls.....
I am glad U brought this topic up b/c I am reading it and at first I sucked in my breath and felt that "OMG...." but I have been in recovery enough to realize that it was NOTHING about me....it was all HIS crime....and hes gone now, where the punishment fits the crime and I don't have anything he touched, not a picture, not any remembrance of him in my house....my kids only know that thier "grand sire" was evil, they don't even know his name....I ERASED him and I focus on ME and MY recovery and protecting my children and grand children......
I only mention him in the course of my recovery and I keep it at aminimum....don't want to hash over it, I already did hash over the anger, rage, then grief/sorrow and mourning for a childhood and decades of my life GONE to sickness in my mind/soul.
alanon has done wonders for me....I am OK with me now....I am just as good as anyone else, just as CLEAN and acceptable as anyone else and with my love and support and my cousin working her program she is less down on herself and she is setting boundaries, learning them well, I kinda guide and sponsor her and we share....we both know that we are beautiful and acceptable and it was not our crime...it was his ticket to the cold dark place....
so yea, u bumped into evil, but you , thank God had the courage to report it as I wold have done, thats all we can do....expose it, do not keep it secret b/c evil thrives in secrecy and I am glad yo told us...I learned that I am getting past "my shame an blame" re: the crime against me.....I learned that yes, I will always want to kill these people, but I can't go to jail, so I just have to report if I see a web site, report suspicious creeps in teh neighborhood, call the police, etc....DO what I can...to protect me and ALL the children around me
and then I have to say I am powerless beyond that and to turn it over......
SO sorry a sweet person like you had to see somthing soo ugly and dark.....But its there....AWARENESS is a very powerful tool......it keeps us not dwelling on it but aware that it is there and we gotta do what we gotta do to report it....educate our children and look out for oursleves and the young ones
To me, even tho I felt a "twinge" I am glad u took this to the board here so we could help you destress...yea, its shocking and ugly.....my mother drank herself to death b/c she was married to evil....she was this raging, angry, crying DRUNK who was awful to live with....she abused us kids in her rage and her feelign of hopelessness......I was glad when she passed....To me , death was her only viable relief......she never wanted recovery b/c she did not want to face what she was in, I am sure....her drinking was her suicide her escape.....
I guess i can forgive her to the extent that even tho she let harm come to young girls, and I am sure she is facing the karma over that, she was his victim too...and if she could not save herself, she sure as hell wasn't gonna be able to save any of us......
thanks for not just keeping this inside....you did right coming to us about this......just breathe and tell yourself, that you did good...reporting them and that we all are powerless over other peoples choices to be good or evil....that is their karma they have to face eventually.....
I cannot 4give my bio sire, but I can let go of the hate and resentment for him b/c it only hurts me....I give it up for ME to help ME....to free ME.....when people aske me about him, I say "may his name be erased b/c it is from me"...and i refuse to talk about him unless it is my reocvey and I need to to help someone or get over a trigger in me
I hope you can calm down and I am proud of you for reporting it and wanting to do the right thing..........good on you.........Hang in there and take good care of you, so you will be able to share that self care and love with your loved others
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
You took the right action...you never know the good that you did with your action. We let go of the outcome, bless the situation, see the lesson and release so you aren't tainted. I believe that what is in one is in the whole...each situation that I deem ugly can also be found within me. That is not a truth I like Dang it anyway!
We let go of the outcome, bless the situation, see the lesson and release so you aren't tainted.
WOW, this is powerful...dunno if i can bless the situation, but I see what ya mean, that it was a lesson and I guess in that I should bless that I learned a lesson and RELEASE so it does not permeate my life...Makes sense.....This post had a special meaning to me, a trigger and I am very very harkened by my response, rather then my reaction to it....Like I am getting past it...Like what happened to me does not define me...like it was his inventory, not mine...and I am working on MY inventory to improve........thanks, Paula
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Hi, BF. I have experienced those same kinds of nightmarish images and the memory of them have replayed themselves in my mind. If there is something I can actually and practically do, I do it. If not, I try to make sure I'm not hurting myself in some way or others in my life. If not, I simply keep turning the memory either into a Godbox or my HPs hands each and every time the memory re-appears. This helps me focus on what is rather than what was or what could be or what should be. And I need reminders to do this sometimes, too.
Its a disturbing fact of the world that those people exist. When Facebook became so popular with so many so fast, I shook my head at the thought of all those children's pictures being posted so anyone could see them; I argued with my daughter about the lack of privacy, the illusion that "only those I want to see them, can see them" kind of thinking because I understand that for pedophiles, it doesn't have to be a picture of a sexual nature that turns them on, it can be any picture of any child and there isn't a way to stop someone from right clicking on a picture to save it to a private file. I refuse to enter into the world of Facebook, posting pictures for friends whose friends and friends of friends can view them, no control and I won't play that game.
All we can do is do what we can to protect our kids and ourselves; sad to say that a few clicks in any internet search will bring up something you aren't looking for. Glad you turned the site into the authorities!
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I am strong in the broken places. ~ Unknown
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another! ~ Anatole France
I remember listening to a murderer come out of prison and judge the pedophiles, how they were "beneath" him. And I judged him for judging.
AAs Big Book says they are sick JUST LIKE US.
That's the kind of Truth and Freedom this girl's talkin' 'bout.
In the prisons , even, they have "standards" most convicts have or are related to or know Minor children and the freaks who prey upon a youngster under 18 years of age,
sorry to say this, but I do pass judgement on them b/c to me...they separate that child from trust....love...innocence....goodness...light.....self love...they take that child's sense of ever feeling safe.......even, like me, they tear at the relationship that child had with their own maker......
To me??? and this is just my take.....SOME kinds of crimes just are "over the top" there are some folks who really have no place among the rest of us b/c the children are innocent....helpless.....vulnerable....tender....fragile...THEY are our hope for our FUTURE....we need to HELP them.....never to harm a child.......it is the ONE crime I find totally 100% unforgivable.......so I hope not to offend, but I kinda agree with this murderer
There have been many times I had wished that my attacker had ended my life instead of sentencing me to a lifetime of medications for my ptsd and anxiety a lifetime of trying to find myself again, a lifetime of suffering with damaged coping skills on top of life's daily challenges......a life time of FEAR...that I will be working on until I die........to never have felt really safe is about the worst place to be in life......
I can make myself "as safe" as possible, but do I ever REALLY feel entirely safe???? I don't believe so....If I could not feel safe with my own caretakers in my own home, where could I??? I have made great strides in reclaiming my life, but like any huge plane crash, I will never find all the pieces of me.........
SO...because I am such a fighter....I will build new pieces of me and hope for the best....I will be damned if I will let him win....I turned this evil into good by reaching out to help others...That way I can put some meaning in all the life I lost....I try to help children and animals..I am a strong activist in helping children and animals and the elderly, too b/c all 3 to me are the most vulnerable...
Yes, the crime done against me maybe caused me to be extra compassionate, and very intuitive re: other people., it has given me a sharp 6th sense in assessing danger and seeing through people better...It has caused me to be very careful and to watch my surroundings .....It has caused me to greatly appreciate the good in my life and to want to give back the good I receive...
I was never anything BUT a vessel of love and goodness and so therefor I defeated him...I beat him....He did NOT turn me into something bad or of the darkness....He caused me to fight the bad in life....So I beat him...
Just my 2cents....please , I hope I offended noone.....
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Dang it anyway!