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Post Info TOPIC: it's been one month


Member

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Posts: 9
Date:
it's been one month


It's been one month since my last post. One month since I've had to wonder if he's alive or dead, in jail, if someone else got hurt because of him. I opened myself up to family today, mine and his. It feels better to have had some kind, supportive, and constructive words sent my way. There is so much love involved but I just don't know where I'm going. I'm so angry. I thought, naively, that he would get to AA this time. He didn't, and nor did I go to a meeting. But I need to regain control of my world independent of him, then maybe we can begin again as he finds himself. I am so very sad. I know he got into trouble tonight, sleeping it off in a cell, no idea the pain his actions have caused.

 



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~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1744
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Angie

Welcome back to MIP,

You don't know how long or what bottom the alcoholic will hit before he goes to AA and then he will still have a long
road of recovery.

How long are you going to give it before you surrender to a plan of serenity and turn over your anger and confusion.
I'm sorry you didnt make it to a meeting, the way to regain control of your world and to begin again is thru Alanon. The only support group in the world that has the knowledge and the tools to provide comfort to you. Its there for the taking.

All the words of comfort and support from well meaning people don't mean a thing unless you take the action for your life. To turn it around and gain some peace and serenity.

Keep coming back Angie, because the program works if you work it.

Hugs,
Bettina

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Bettina


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 3870
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Hugs Angie,

Best thing that I have done and continue to do is to make sure I am investing time into myself instead of playing the waiting game. He's going to drink or not drink .. it really does come down to what are you going to do?

The answer for me is come here .. read .. figure out who I am, as you stated independently of anyone else .. who am I?

Keep coming back .. it really does get better.

Hugs P :)

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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo

PP


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 3964
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Dear Angie,

Wanted to support what the other two gals already shared.  You are well worth the time you invest in you... let the program seep into your cells.  Keep coming back



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Paula



~*Service Worker*~

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Hi, Angie: Thank you for sharing your honest thoughts and feelings with us. I, too, wait - not so much on what my AS is doing or not doing and what the outcome of his choices might be, but on the next right thing I am to do for me. The disease tells us that our only value are the roles we play - child, daughter, wife, husband, mother, father - and it can hook us into believing that if we let it. Al-Anon helps us establish boundaries between what is ours to be and to do and what is theirs to be and to do. Each meeting we attend, or meditation we read, or step and slogan we utilize brings us that much closer to the peace and serenity that living sober can be for us. Our loved ones get addicted to their drug of choice.
We get addicted to our loved ones. Then, without working a formal program of recovery, end up blaming each other for how we think, feel and behave. This is a one day at a time program that helps us learn how to live in the todays of our lives and not the todays of our loved ones.
That's peace in itself. You don't have to start a program TODAY - that's all up to you. But, as a person whose been affected by this disease, another day of delay spells another day of pain and dis-ease that does have a solution if we want it. Lots of support, Angie. You'll make it if you take the medicine - Al-Anon. You get to choose when you will. It is all up to you. (((A)))

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"Darkness is full of possibility." Leunig



Member

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Thank you all for your words. I'm so tired, I didn't sleep, but the sun is shining and I need to start working on my future.


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~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 3281
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Bettina wrote:


How long are you going to give it before you surrender to a plan of serenity and turn over your anger and confusion.I'm sorry you didnt make it to a meeting,

the way to regain control of your world and to begin again is thru Alanon. The only support group in the world that has the knowledge and the tools to provide comfort to you. Its there for the taking.

All the words of comfort and support from well meaning people don't mean a thing unless you take the action for your life. To turn it around and gain some peace and serenity.

Keep coming back Angie, because the program works if you work it.

Hugs,
Bettina


 I coud not say this better......I had to tell myself   MY turn is when I decide to let the others suffer their own consequences, learn their own lessons,   I had to accept I was codependent and MY turn is when I got into alanon, meetings, 12 steps work extensively and not stopping....This wonderful program is our for the taking and it is FREE.......

its up to you, to make that decision....."the alkies and other dysfunctionals  or ME"   I made that step....I chose ME...MY peace and happiness......Yea, I have some A's in my life, but the inner boundaries are set....I love them from a bit of distance and some detachment....I no longer get into the vortex of their toxic way of life.....I take care of ME first...then share that care w/others who want to help themselves   w/out enabling them.....

If I can do it.....so can you..........its a choice.....alanon and peace and freedom..........or no alanon an the rounds and rounds of misery............U R worth it.....



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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!! 



~*Service Worker*~

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(((((Angie)))))...back to the meetings.  Back to MIP.  You are not Causing it.  You are not Controlling it.  You are not, will not and cannot Cure it.

Welcome home.   smile



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