New to this! - Al-Anon Family Group

jbat · Newbie

New to this!

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

jbat

Welcome to Miracles in Progress

I am so glad that your friend is seeking recovery in AA and that you have reached out for information. Alcoholism is a progressive fatal disease that can be arrested but never cured. Recovery can be found and sustained in the rooms of AA.

Alanon is a fellowship of men and women who live with or have lived with the disease of alcoholism. Living with or dealing with this disease causes us to loose our focus on our lives, neglect our goals, deprive ourselves of needed support . In turn we become isolate, fearful, angry and lost. Alanon is the Recovery program for us. it was founded by the wife of the Founder of AA AFTER he became sober.

You are correct it is suggested that neither member make any major life changes for the first year. This is so that each will have the ability to find themselves again and establish a connection with a support system. Without sobriety there can not be any meaningful relationship with an alcoholic

I urge you to search out alanon face to face meetings in your community and attend . Meetings locations can be found by looking up alanon in the white pages

Try 6 different meetings before making a decision

Keep coming back here as well.

neshema2 · ~*Service Worker*~

"While it is not preached in AA, therapists at rehab recommended not starting any new relationships within the first year. She wants to continue with our relationship as she moves forward with her 90/90 and 12-steps. Technically, it's not a new relationship because it started before she went to rehab. Neither one of us are getting any younger, so we don't think we want to cut it off for a year. I'm on board with her treatment and support her 100% in becoming sober. I am not much of a drinker, so it doesn't bother me if I never drink again."

HI and welcome to the MIP family.........I have to concur w/rehab i mean what is a year when you have so much at stake....Trust me on this one, her first year of recovery is gonna take a LOT....meetings all the time...the steps....all the AA literature adn stuff they have to do

THEN you got you going to alanon to understand this situation and to keep yourself from going coda over her illness....Your gonna need alanon as much as she is gonna need AA....

I am impressed that she had the guts and the good sense to see she had a problem and checked herself into rehab...sounds like she is someone who really wants to get a grip on her condition and her life

Alcoholism is not curable, but it is manageabe and they can live a decent life IF They WORK their PROGRAM......and its a life time proposition.....and alcoholism can be kept in remission only with diligent and regular work in the program

Its not going to be easy being with a person who is addicted ...Not at all, but it is very doable if both of you are working in your program, and to keep the focus on you on you.....her on her.....you need your program...she needs hers....

I woudl think that a relationship would be kinda "too much" for one so new into recovery....really, a year isn't that bad when you think of the rewards and good that you get by just waiting it out...working your program, time will pass and she will get healthier and so will you and you will be better able to handle this special situation.....

Like Betty says, I , too, urge you to find some alanon meets, literature, workbooks on the steps, et al, do all the program suggests....

Sending energy of peace and strength to both of you

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

((((jbat)))) Welcome to the board and I suggest that you make MIP as regular as getting to face to face Al-Anon meetings. You are going to have to learn alot about alcoholism as much as you can because it is that serious a disease. Some times it is called Cunning, Powerful and Baffling on the other end it is called Fatal; it is all of that. Alcoholism has victims in everyone it touches not only the drinker and many alcoholics are cross addicted to drugs. Alcoholism is most often a lifetime disease...generationally genetic (for me as one) and is not cureable...it is only arrestable thru total abstinence. It is a progressive disease in that if the alcoholic were to stop drinking for any length of time and then return to drinking it would be as if no period of sobriety ever existed and often times it wil be worse. That is called relapse and in a relapse the alcoholic doesn't return to drinking at where they started but will continue on as if they never stopped. This disease is centuries old...predates the life of the Christ by several thousand years...alcoholics are altered people and alcohol is a drug that alters the mind, body, spirit and emotions. I went to college just to study what it was that was robbing me and my ex alcoholic/addict wife of our lives. I'm still learning.

By the way when I got into recovery the suggest was "Don't make any major life decisions including relationships within the next two years". That one I disobeyed and all my relationships turned into affairs.

Welcome to the board...We're here to hold and support you and offer our ESH - Experieriences, Strengths and Hopes for you to duplicate as you want. Keep coming back. smile

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.