The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Daughter #2 is home...Baby is a girl....Janeth Judith is her name
Daughter calls me (I haven't seen her since b4 she went to hosp) and asks me How I am and I say fine and ask her how she is doing and she says fine and shes home and "are you going to come over and see the baby???"
I told her that my truck horn is going out and therefore I won't pass inspection so I need to grab my friend up the street on his only day off to fix and that is tomorrow, but I told her I would try to come over later, after truck is fixed...HOPING that it is only horn and not the electrical system....I am getting power to it, so that is good sign, I think???
When you are broke, you get help WHEN you can and be gr8ful that I got it....And believe me w/this client going down the tubes, I am busted and now truck has cost me AGAIN...2 weeks ago, it was the gas cap....little stuff, but it adds up....I just hope I am not entering another siege where money is going out more than coming in like 2011 and part of 2012......
So, after I get this needed repair done, I will go over there and view the baby, compliment her and congratulate her on her new treasure and see how it goes...I might take a pic of her and yes, share in her happy event but carefully
I am not gonna try and talk to her about anything, just keep it nice and casual then I will leave...
I will not let myself fall into anymore traps, I am gonna keep it sweet and keep my distance....
No expectations, No unrealistic ideals about anything...I would love to see her get into alanon, but that is her choice, her life...
Daughter #1, my joy, is home from vacation and they had a blast...she and SOL who is the dream son, I don't even think of him as my SOL, but my son...He is a sweetheart....They live in MD and its soo hard being so far away from them, but he has an established painting and carpentry business up there and so that is where they are at.....
Anyway, 2morrow I will go to autozone and pick up a horn for my friend to put in for me and then go see "C" and her new baby...I am happy for her if this is what she wants...4 kids, I hope this is the last for her, but not my business....I do wish her happiness and hubby is a decent little fella..He has a good job, so that is good
OMG...just looked at the clock....1.25 in the am and I am still up....my adoptive brother is in WA out in the boondocks camping with his sig. other and friends and his doggie and we had a good chat....I just love the guy....
I will protect my heart, and keep my distance but not be so cold and closed up that IF she ever DOES want to get into alanon, I can at least encourage her.....She would have to show "sustained good fruit" for me to let her any closer than we are now
What will be will be....Its out of my hands....I won't let her mess with my mind and my emotions and that is a good thing...Alanon has taught me much..
Remember that sorta pic i posted about 4giveness??? well I thought of "C" when I saw that....YES I forgive her, however its never ok to play with someones mind and feelings.....and She may not be welcome as far as being close to me is concerned, but I have made the decision to make my peace with it and to move on....With or without her, I am moving on for me...so YES...I do 4give her...Just going to protect me and my heart....
See ya all later.....Ya'll have a great night, and nice Sunday...I will be under the hood of my truck, helping or watching, LOL.....
__________________
Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
What a fun thing to read on a Sunday morning, N. To me, babies are my HP's way of saying, "I a still take delight in humanity." And as fragile as they appear and as dependent as they are, they are so very, very powerful. I've watched babies able to bring 6'7" men to their knees and women sitting in wheel chairs with eyes focused on nothing come to life again when they see a baby.
Many blessings to you and yours and prayers for a calm and peaceful day today.
I will visit after we fix the truck..got to have a horn when driving
I will be "easy, cautious, but sweet".....
NO expectations that she will NOT later deny me this one as well....little Adrian isn't as close to me anymore b/c he is only 2 and yes, I helped him come into the world, then slowly, D#2 began not being "available" re: Adrian...the older kids never come to play on the trampoline...their mom doesn't let them come....the oldest told me that...I think HE wants to come over
so I told him privately he was always welcome to come and play
So this new one, I will enjoy while I can, and be prepared to let go when the time comes...IF it comes....I learned in alanon that unrealistic expectations and hopes and ideals are to my folly...I must keep my "expectations" in check and focus on what is rational....
So sad, but it is what it is....Hard not to get attached to a baby, but my attachment has to be in balance...done wtih care....always with the willilngness to let go....
Oh well, today I go to see her....after I fix this stinking truck....Then its one day at a time....
I will "guard my heart with all my being" however not soo closed that I am not open and aware to any possible improvement.....
Its rainy and cool....good weather to replace a truck horn and pray that that is all thats wrong....I can't afford weekly stops to the auto supply store....the money just does not come in , that $200 or so a month I lost ea. month hurt.....
oh well......one day at a time and for me at times, one HOUR at a time.....
see ya all later...gotta grab some cereal and head on to the store....
IF I can , I will snap a pic of her and post on the board.....Lets see what mood her mom is in...I never know from 1 day to next......
__________________
Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
