(((Lyne)))  I'm glad you're here.  I thought that, too, that things would turn around.  But, my son had the disease and has chosen not to get into a recovery program for earnest.  I can remember sitting in a psychologist's office who was also certified & trained therapist for families dealing with substance abuse and alcoholism.  I'd been seeing him for a few years to help me deal/cope with the progression of my son's disease.  He was a big help to me in helping me put distance between my son and his behaviors and other things.  On this day, he said - "Well, this is what I know about you.  You are very healthy."  "Healthy?  How can I be so healthy when my son is this sick?"  He shook his head.  "I don't know. I do know you are healthy."  I left the office more than a little surprised.  I also was meeting with a woman who held a Doctorate in Pastoral Care and Counseling who also had experience with alcoholism/drug addiction and Al-Anon who told me the same thing.  I didn't ask either of them for the knowledge.  I left her office just as surprised.

My point is this.  Just because our kids are sick doesn't mean that we haven't done what we needed to do to make changes that were good for us and good for them.  We just can't determine what their lives are meant to be or will be when they are on their own making their own choices.

I don't know you and even if I did, it wouldn't be my business or intent to try to analyze you.  What I do know is all we can do as mothers is our best.  The outcome is not in our hands. 

I keep on with Al-Anon because I know I am and have been affected by this disease and I want to do whatever it takes to keep myself as sane as healthy and as I can and to make adjustments that are life-giving for me as I continue my life in a culture that to me reeks of drugs and alcohol.  I hope you keep on with this program, too.  For your sake.