The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I went to a meeting Friday and Saturday and I spent some time alone. I have got a long journey ahead of me. I'm becoming aware of my surroundings and how my husbands disease has effected us all. The question is now that I know all the facts what is my next step? I need to take care of me and work program before making a life changing decision. I know that at some point we will need to separate but I also know at this time emotionally and financially im not ready to leave the home. I feel a little more calm thanks to HP. I don't know what the future holds but I know that it will get progressively better as long as I use the alanon tools.
Great post NG, and I think the "next step" is simply more of the same... Continue diving into YOUR recovery, go to meetings, post here, ask questions & provide each other with support and feedback, read great books on the subject, maintain some balance in your life, and one of the most important things - that many of us neglect - is to take care of YOU.... make a point of doing something nice & special - specifically for NewGirl17 - each and every day. You're worth it.
Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
It's nice to see someone so hurt take control of their lives and way your starting to do. 9 months ago I was in crazyville to the point of a breakdown. Now I can say I'm on my way to serenity.
It works, if you work it and your worth it my friend
(((( hugs ))))
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
((((Ngirl)))) this program really works when you work it...We all start at step 1. You are not alone...put a smile on your face and come journey with us to peace of mind and serenity.
New Girl, I would just keep working my program and while doing it set aside $$ or what I need to leave if that is my plan...I wouldn't do anything major till I was in recovery for at least a year, however if you are sure you want to leave, then just keep doing what you are doing and on the side, put away $$ and check out options you can do in your leaving....is the home joint owned??? children??? if so, maybe its he who will be compelled to leave , if you are planning divorce, I would keep that quiet until I was ready to go to lawyer...
there is a lot I don't know, re: home, kids, financial situations, but you do......I would work my program, get strong in myself , detach from him, get separate bank accounts..separate credit cards...and if he says anything, you are not obligated to explain yourself.....you just want your own finances.....you will know what to do, what step, etc....
because I don't know the details , I can't say much, but the main theme is taking care of you and covering your butt.....
Good luck and keep coming back here
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
Great awareness filled with courage and wisdom In the 3 As of alanon--- It is suggested that there is a process to change First we have the Awareness-(Start to see the reality) then we Accept the reality of the situation9without trying to change it) and then we Act If we try to act before we fully accept the sitution we are not successful Keep on attedning meetings and keep an open mind
Hi, Newgirl. Glad you were able to use the time away to take good care of yourself. Clarity helps so much to bring us peace. Sounds like you have some clarity about your situation and what you need to do for you right now. Lots of support for you.
