The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I used to be consumed with revenge on the ones who hurt me but then I realized that it was like drinking poison and hoping that they would get sick...Revenge is a trap I was in for a long time until I realized that there is a big difference between revenge and asserting my rights...
revenge is all about getting even at any cost..Asserting my rights is taking care of me in a legal and moral and appropriate way....Revenge also takes up a lot of energy..When I became willing to give that up and let karma take over if I cannot do anything, I feel less tired..Less irritable...I trust that what goes around comes around..I think my way of preventing myself from falling into the old vengeance trap is to be more discerning whom I let close in my life..Listen to my inner voice when it says "run"...Don't put myself out there for proven abusive or non trustworthy people to hurt me...Just be careful and pay attention....
Thank you , Bettina for this great share :)
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
In order to stay out of this dreadful cycle, I need to work the Steps, Place Principles above Personalities, and practice these principles in all my affairs.
A lot of people including myself, b4 recovery, think/thought that giving up revenge is to give up my LAWful right to protect/ care for/ maintain myself and my good peace...AND to seek remedy for wrongs/injuries done to me....
it is not...I think the reason why I hung onto the hate and revenge for my sire was b/c I was too sick to sue him for the damages he did to me......It was just bad timing for me...He died b4 I got well....ANd I suppose there is a statute of limitations on suing one for personal injury
I had to let it go b/c it was poisoning me.....it was the hardest thing...but I do believe in Karma...I do believe what goes around comes around.....I do believe in the afterlife the punishment fits the crime
revenge is like a cancer...it ate me...it consumed me....I had no life b/c of the revenge and cold hate I felt for my bio sire....I had to keep giving it up to the universe, over and over and over until I could feel lighter in my spirit....
If he were alive, would I ever want anything to do w/him??? Hell no!!! Could I forgive him??? No!!! Some crimes are not forgivable, but I COULD say to him "what you did severed your rights as a father to me, so I send you away to walk your separate path from me" and I would stand to my boundary as to never ever letting him around me or my daughters...
IF I could have sued him for damages, I wold have....not out of revenge but to pay for my therapy and my meds that I need caused by the abuse he heaped on me...
I do believe that if one morally and lawfully owes restitution to another, the one injured should be able to pursue rightful compensation or remedy for their injuries
I am glad that I can "put it in a box" and put it up on the shelf and yea, once in a while, it falls off the shelf and I have to "go through it" and feel the anger, hurt and grief, then I toss it back up on the shelf and it stays there a bit longer...
No..I will never forget..i cannot 4give that kind of evil, but I CAN give his punishment over to his maker (he is now dead) and I can walk away and focus on taking care of me and enriching my life, what is left of it....This program has shown me that I am lovable and acceptable and good just the way I am....
this program taught me that what injuries my parents did to me do NOT define me...I define me by my thoughts and my actions and my character.....I define me...Noone else does....
Each day I wake up, there is a NEW chance to put good in my "life bank".......
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
