Hi Breakingfree. Just wondering- do you have an sponsor or someone you can call from one of your phone lists? For me, being able to talk things out with my sponsor or another member really helps me when I'm in a tough situation or when I can't seem to work things through on my own. Just a suggestion, take what you want and leave the rest. 

Hi. If it is any help to you, see this as an opportunity to detach from wanting him to talk with you. Could be he's binge drinking and doesn't want you to know it. Could be he's depressed and doesn't want to talk. Could be he wants to punish you or impress a new girlfriend who is jealous of you? Whatever the reason - he doesn't want to talk - and it may not have anything at all to do with you.

I am like you. I like to talk things out and stay friendly with people. I am learning to withdraw when I get a signal that the other person doesn't want to talk, get to know me, work things out, spend time with me, understand me, or whatever else might enter my head. I am estranged from some siblings - not because of anything that I know about other than alcoholism. I attended my aunt's funeral last week. One of my sisters entered the funeral home - a sister I haven't seen in almost six years - was pleasant with everyone but looked at me coldly and said some kind of polite hello (as polite as a cold hello can be). I looked at her, I felt the hurt, and said "hello" without giving into my habit of trying to be the one who brings peace into a relationship where the other person doesn't seem to want it. Within minutes of that choice, I focused my energies on my cousins, aunts, uncles who did want to interact with me in a friendly, warm manner. I decided that my sister's behavior was her business, I didn't like it, I wasn't going to change it, and I am a person deserving of relationships that are two-sided, reliable and comfortable. I thoroughly enjoyed my time with my family. She left immediately after the funeral service and chose not to stay with uncles, aunts and cousins that she hasn't seen or talked with personally for a long time. I don't know why she left. I just know that her choices in relationship to me were no longer going to pull my self-doubt, need to connect with an unhealthy sibling just because they were my sibling, or familiarity with disdain, disrespect, rejection or dishonor by a family member into high gear.

Hanging up on you is dishonoring you. It often happens in response to interior anger. If he is angry because he has to pay more court ordered child support, too bad for him. He's a grown man who agreed to bringing children into the world. It is his job to support them no matter what the cost as long as they are minors. We codependents are used to being punched in the gut and then running after the abuser to ask what we did.
Ignoring requests for dates to spend time with the kids is also dishonoring you and not normal behavior for a healthy father. His dishonor of you - no matter what his reason - does not merit a talk-it-out with you in my estimation.

Of course, my E/S/H is just mine, and may not be helpful to you, but I did want to respond to your request.