The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My AM came home tonight and started drinking. Her and my dad got into it although I only heard the last of what he said to her which was that she is a zombie (in how she looks, acts etc) and he told me he has a wife who's an A and I have a mother of who's an A. She went to bed without a word. I tried to calm down my dad telling him he needs to go to a meeting, he said he didn't. I told him that he needed to deal with his anger he said he deals on with it by yelling. Then he and I got into. a big argument. later on we both calmed down and now I'm upstairs alone in my room crying as I write this. I don't know/am really tired of dealing with this...if that makes some sense.
God this is just how it was with my brother years ago...its killing me!! If you all have a spare moment could you please lift my mom and family up in prayer...thanks
Prayers and also hope that you are currently attending Al-Anon meetings? Maybe your parents can't or won't do anything to confront and move through this generational disease, but YOU can. Keep coming back. The program will work for you if you work it. Lots of support and encouragement.
I missed a meeting tonight. my dad won't go to an Al-Anon meeting and my mom won't go to an AA meeting much less talk to anyone here at home about her issue.
I'm so angry at this disease and what its done to my family. I love my mom and its killing me to see her so...broken.
I'm currently listening to Josh Groban's song Remember When It Rained and crying my soul out to God. I pray He helps our family because I don't know what to do anymore.
Right now, there's nothing you can do about your Mom or your Dad - that's between them and their HP. But, you are doing what you can do for yourself now. Each day, you'll learn a little more, you'll begin to laugh a little more, know a little more, enjoy a little more. I know it hurts, Phoenix, but it won't always hurt as you get the support, knowledge and help that you need for you. Lots of prayers for you and for your family. Crying is a good thing. Expressing yourself with people who understand this disease is a good thing. Prayer is a good thing, too. Look at all you're doing and you thought you didn't know what to do anymore. You're doing all the right things to help yourself now. And that's a VERY good thing. Keep coming back.
Sometimes the very best we can do is lead by example... Remember that our "powerlessness" is true with respect to all other people - both alcoholics AND Al-Anons... Your dad (and your mom, for that matter), may get more encouragement/insight to the strength of our program by seeing the positive changes in you.... it takes time, but if you are happy, serene, and at peace with yourself - they WILL see it.
Take care
Tom
__________________
"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
