The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My AH of 32 years, who I am separated from for the last 6 months, is heaping loads of guilt on me for his situation. He lives in what he describes as a "crappy" apartment and feels an "outcast" because I filed for divorce and got a court order for him to move out. Our 19 year old daughter wants nothing to do with him. Yeah, his life sucks, but these are the choices he has made as a result of thinking his drinking is "not that bad".
Well, I decided to do something today I haven't done in a long time. I put on my walking shoes, clipped on my I-Phone with my favorite contemporary Christian music and set out for a walk. I walked past the most beautiful lake in my neighborhood and listened to the encouragement of my HP telling me that He loves me, He has a wonderful plan for my life, and He is in control if I surrender to Him. Before I knew it, one hour passed and I felt an incredible sense of peace, along with a lot of sweat! Lol! I live in Texas. It is hot here! I realize that when the negative voices of my AH invade my mind, I need to turn it around and do something for me. Tomorrow, I think I will ride my bike! :)
(((Clou)))!!!!!! Great moves on your part. You chose not to wallow in the disease and chose life instead. Keep coming back, going to meetings, doing what nurtures you and things will only continue to get better for you. As you probably know, even if your AH wasn't living in a crappy apartment, was surrounded by people who loved him, had everything in the world going for him - he'd still find a reason to drink and blame you. Nothing you can or have to do about that and you're putting your energy where it will do you some good. On yourself and your life.
Yes, it's infuriating (and almost comical) how active A's can be presented with "you can choose alcohol and option A, or you can address your addiction and have option B", so they choose option A, and then blame everyone else for their predicament.
Getting back in touch with your HP, nature, getting physically active - all wonderful tools in YOUR toolbelt, towards your recovery
Have a great day!
Tom
__________________
"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
