The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today is my 32nd wedding anniversary. My AH and I are separated since January and I have filed for divorce. The last 10 years have been a series of rehabs, periods of sobriety, and relapses. I finally woke up one day and realized that if I did not take the step to leave my husband, I could end up in another 10 years of the same. It is just so sad sometimes that I dissolve is a heap of sobs and tears. I love this man, but realize that this disease of alcoholism is destroying both of us. I attend alanon meetings and have received a lot of wisdom and support from the people in my group. I need to a get a sponsor to begin working the steps, but no one in my small alanon group feels comfortable being a sponsor. I read a lot of alanon literature and pray to my HP everyday for the strength to continue on this path. It is hard when you love someone so very much, but see them destroying themselves. How I hate this disease! I have lived with alcoholism my entire life. My father was an alcoholic and at 20, I married an alcoholic. Funny how that happens. I keep saying the serenity prayer and hope for the best in life. It is a tough day. Thanks for listening.
Yes, it is sad...I am sorry. It is so wonderful you have found al anon...you are taking the right actions. Listen closely and your HP will lead you to the next step, then the next one, then the next one. One day you will look back and see how much you have transformed
I am certainly glad that you found us and that you are attending alanon meetings Alcoholism is indeed a dreadful disease. All who come in contact with it require of program of recovery because of the lost dreams, uncertainty, sadness and pain .
Alanon is a safe place to feel those feeling, receive support from those who understand as few others can . The Steps and a Sponsors are important tools for recovery. I am glad you are praying about it.
You are so young in your grieving process. Go easy on you. Suffering all the losses you are is hard!Think about what would make ya feel good. comfy robe, down comforter, some flowers, cheese cake, reading Farside, showers, baths, going to loved ones homes and just relaxing with them.
My relationship was about that many years too. I prayed to not love him. Instead I found out it was very ok to love him, but the man I married, that I did love was gone.
I hope you get some relief. It helps to watch light hearted movies, funny ones, get lost in books...for me volunteering somewhere to walk dogs helped me.
sending hugz, debilyn
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Putting HP first, always <(*@*)>
"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."
(((HUGS))) that is hard, but thank goodness you realized where you are at. I am at a year and a half of the relapse cycle with just recent periods of sobriety. So far, unable to make 30 days. Reality is staring me in the face. Not sure I am ready to face that. I am sad for you. And sad too. (((HUGS))))
Thank you everyone. I made it through the day. My AH called twice, but I did not answer. He did not leave a voice mail, so I figure he wanted to talk to me and make me feel bad for asking him to leave when he is trying so hard to stay sober. I have heard that line a thousand times. He is in his HP's hands now. I am in mine :)
I, like you, loved my husband and still had to divorce him for many reasons. He never did get sober - treatment for a month once - but, not recovery work following rehab. I'm sure this decision didn't come easy for you - and I'm sure it won't be easy for you as you make the necessary changes to accommodate your decision. Sometimes, we can love someone very much, and still not be able to live with them anymore. Glad you found us. Keep coming back.
((((Clou))))...Welcome to the board...you're going to be okay. Stay with your journey in Al-Anon and MIP. Both are very supportive of recovery. Keep listening and you will hear the "sponsors" voice which is what I did and urged me to ask for help. You can use the group or even someone in your church who understands. Keep open minded. (((((hugs)))))