Hit send too fast... The tune was "Put on happy face", made me laugh, but I figured this was my higher power telling me to just fake it til I make it. And so I did. I smiled, got out of bed, made breakfast, kissed AH goodbye, went to work, kept smiling, came home, smiled even more, and now I am tired and ready for bed. It was a fake smile this morning, but now it is real, because I was able to get through a day, and mostly keep my serenity. Just focusing on the next right thing. G'night.

I feel like I have finally given things over to God. At least more so than i have before. It has been so hard for me to trust anyone in my life...my alcoholic father, my rageful mother, my sick, addicted husband, even myself...so how could I possibly trust God? But I am feeling like it has all been so exhausting, carrying all of it myself, I might as well let it Go and see how God handles things. He certainly cant do worse than me!