The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have a dear friend who I don't get to see as often as I like. She and I met today, and she told me she learned a coping technique at her AlAnon meeting which I thought sounded like one I can try.
(Disclaimer: I didn't attend the F2F meeting, so might not have the technique down pat)
She said: when you are going along in life, and some curve balls get thrown your way, instead of trying to figure out how to change things (now that the obstacle threw itself up in your path), just keep on the path that you were already on--just keep doing what you already planned to do..
I think that would give me a feeling of staying in control if I did that.
You and your friend had a great conversation. I like the tool. It sounds like acceptance to me.
Before alanon I always tried to figure out the solution to problems that were not mine to fix and I also HAD to understand the "WHY". I did this because I thought if I knew the why or the solution I would be in control.
Alanon gave me better tools I learned that I am powerless over others,and the best I can do is , acknowledge the "Issue" in my path, look for my part in it, keep the focus on myself, and continue to move in the direction I am going.
One very powerful reading in our literature states. Do not try to understand "WHY". If you know why a thing IS and if you do not know why it still is.
The odat or Cto C has a reading about this. A woman is told her husband has died in the war and she continues to go about her business. I love that, its a reminder that we have a choice in how we act or react. I love this program because some of these little nuggets come back and mean something different. I was reminded in my meeting of the idea of wrapping my son up in a blanket and letting him go. So lovely.x
