The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Welcome to Miracles in Progress. I am glad you found us and that you plan on attending alanon meetings. Alcoholism is a progressive disease over which we are powerless. We cannot control it or cure it. Alanon is a fellowship of people who live with the disease and connect so as to solve their common problems. It was at meetings that I broke the isolation caused by living with alcoholism and developed new constructive tools to live by My self esteem and self respect were restored
You are doing well taking care of yourself. So please keep coming back. You are worth it.
-- Edited by hotrod on Thursday 13th of June 2013 06:54:10 AM
I will be married to my AH for 27 years next month. We have been together since the age of 13 and were married and had two boys by the age of 21. He became an alcoholic going on 6 years now, when his brother died of a sudden heart attack, who also was an alcoholic. We did the counseling three years ago, he gave that up. Then his Dr. prescribed him depression medicine and continued to drink with that. Recently he was seen by the same Dr. and was told he now has diabetes because of the alcohol. My AH told his Dr. he was going to stop the drinking, the Dr. prescribed him Valium to help with the with-drawls, now is still drinking, still taking the depression medicine and now he has the Valium to drink with. This is really making him mentally messed up. I have asked him to leave, and the only way he will agree to leave is to have his name removed off the mortgage. Unsure, if a attorney or court can make this happen. He continues to work, always gets up in the morning but as soon as work is out, let the partying begin. He has fought with many neighbors,,,and is very annoying when he drinks. He has choose the alcohol over our marriage. I have taking keys, he's had more made. I have taking the plates of the car, he has drove without them. I have had open my own bank account because he also has a gambling problem and would take money out without telling me. Now, I give him an allowance which is gone in probably two days and asking for more. I don't know if I am doing the right thing. Am I being too controlling? I found a al anon meeting close by to me, and plan on going next week. I am so grateful for this board, to see that I really am not alone.
Hi, ms. Wow! What a lot of drama for you to deal with right now. I can't tell you if you're being controlling or not but I can say that you are doing the best thing for yourself right now in coming to the board and going to Alanon. As his wife, I do think I'd let his doctor know what he's doing with the meds and that he has not stopped drinking. As far as having my own money that he can't touch - you betcha. That's not being controlling. That's being responsible for yourself. If he works, well, I don't think I'd give him an allowance. I'd let him be responsible for his money. As far as the mortgage, well...that's an interesting issue that probably can only be answered by lawyers. If the car's in your name - then good for you. If the car's in both your names, you can contact the local police department to ask for guidance in this matter. Keep coming back. We've been there, too.
Welcome to the board ((((ms1414)))), keep coming back often and I hope that meeting works wonders for you as it did for me. While you're there learn as much about "enabling" behaviors as you can...these I learned were my behaviors which I used to try to control and cure my alcoholic/addict wife which only caused the problem to get worse. Glad you have found this board. ((((Hugs))))
