The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Things are moving along at expedited speeds and that is a good thing. There is another pre-trial date in about 4 weeks which means I will meet with STBAX, his atty and mine in the next two weeks. At least I think so .. I am grateful that there is an end date and all of a sudden things got REALLY serious. The best thing I did was call law enforcement as there is nothing weaker than a bully. Well, he's been being a bully and I have let him. It is a sad situation to say the least. I am saddened that I even feel the need to call the sheriff and after what the kids shared with me I'm very much not sorry I did. I think things got very very real for him.
He did not show up at court I don't know if that was planned or if he was still in shock over what took place on Sunday. I don't care. I just know I feel soooo much better at this point. I have more court stuff to do today and some court obligations to take care of tonight. Thankfully once I'm done with that I don't have to worry about any of that side anymore. My atty can do the rest.
This is about the money and control for him. I'm not doing what I'm suppose to do. After all he's a nice guy. Why am I such a B? What did he do? All he wants is a divorce. I'm being so unreasonable and all thinking on any level he should have a financial obligation to his first family. Geeze .. WOW .. what am I thinking?! I'm totally unreasonable and until I typed it out I didn't see how totally unreasonable I was being (cue high sarcasm at the moment ... followed by my catch phrase.) .. SERIOUSLY!? LOL?
Anyway, it was a very good day in court and he caved on some issues which was a good thing the money issue that I was being contacted about on Friday night. I'm very grateful that I no longer have to do this with him. It's a good thing!!
Next court date we may be done .. woot woot .. keeping fingers crossed!!
Hugs P :)
__________________
Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Things are going well. I think at this point he was in shock and a new phase of anger will come out.
NOW .. I have to take care of some business for myself. There is a LOT going on and I need to get everything in order and figure out what's going on with and for the kids and I. LOTS of very positive stuff and hoping that things will fall into place and I will get it all in order.
Anyway, I'm very excited and feel really good about the turn life has taken. It's a little scary because financially things are coming in fast and furious .. so here's hoping and praying that as long as I keep doing the next right thing .. it's all just going to keep falling into place.
Hugs P :)
__________________
Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Thanks for the update. So glad that court went better for you than expected. Enjoy your new life as it brings the gifts your HP has planned in love for you and for your family.
Hugs, Pushka! You sound like you are excited about the future despite what he's putting you through. I wish I had the drive to step out in faith. I have had way too much fear and I know that's what's holding me back from making real change. Keep doing the next right thing.
Well it's not easy and the hard choices are the hardest ones to make in terms of keeping myself safe. Based upon what has happened in the past 4 weeks I decided to file an EOP (Emergency Order of Protection), .. it was kind of scary and I did it myself. I was absolutely floored because I got it. I just did not feel like I knew what I was doing. Apparently I knew what I was doing .. LOL.
I have to go back to court on the 27th and I may try and go and represent myself .. I can't afford for my atty to come with me I'm just not sure what happens next so I have to do all of my homework and the reality is .. he may not show up. There are some great people I can talk to who are criminal atty's or used to be so I know I can get answers if I keep looking.
It's complicated things and made them a LOT more peaceful at this point. At least he can't come to my house to do pick up's and drop off's. Until we agree on a place and who will do them .. there won't be any visitation. He's moved and won't provide a new address sooo .. that's on him, again .. I'm not sending my children for visitation and not know where a home base will be.
He's pretending that his text Friday never happened, Sunday when he was met by the sheriff never happened, Monday never happened and now we are to Thursday and ALL of that is in the past, why does anything need to be discussed or addressed .. well DUH .. because it does. I'm TIRED of the harassment and it's been going on since May 15th, all I did was follow a court order and holy cow I have paid for it ever since. Again NOT sorry I did it. So today he text my daughter and wants to know if she wants him to come out and pick them up at the house or will I take them to his apartment .. UMMM .. I DON"T KNOW WHERE HE LIVES EXACTLY!! HE'S NOT WELCOME ON MY PROPERTY OR BY ME!! This to me is delusional behavior. He's in another reality and NOT in this one. In all fairness he hadn't been served yet so he was unaware of the EOP .. still .. you don't call me and say WOW .. I don't know what happened Sunday and I really want us to work together so it doesn't happen again. That's expecting rational behavior from a crazy person and I know better .. it's nice to dream from time to time.
This is where I feel badly for him .. this weekend is Father's Day and it's like I told my atty .. all I wanted was for him to stop contacting me about the case. This is for the atty's and us to workout together .. NOT discuss and argue which is what has been happening. He is more than welcome to discuss the kids with me .. just NOT the case. There is no point to do so without mediation. The reality is we didn't communicate while we were together it's not a good idea to try now. I would like to be fair so he can see the kids on Sunday .. I just don't know how to make that happen. So I'm at a loss as to what to do at this point. I am asking for guidance and if this can happen for the door to be open. I just feel really sorry for him right now, I'm not sorry I protected myself that is the truth!!
YES .. I feel REALLY positive about the future regardless of what it holds I am excited and I am anxious to start living my life. On a very sad funny note .. I know more Deputies than I have ever known in my life, it's pretty bad walking into the court house addressing the Deputies as I walk by. I have been living at the court house recently .. LOL!
Hugs P :)
__________________
Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Sounds as if your AH is still trying to interact with you as if you are both still married - just living separately for awhile. I felt badly for my husband, too, because I knew underneath all the mental health issues and the addictions lived a person who just wanted to be loved and the untreated disease made it impossible to be near him.
I'm really sorry that you are going through all this. I know you're trying to keep your sense of humor - that's what helped me make it through the early years. His behavior has put you in a position where you've had to strong-arm him as much as you would have preferred a different way. It gets easier.
