The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Sorry, didnt mean to sound so cheeky. Il start again. Alanon is full of people who are affected by alcoholism. Nothing more. They can't solve all your problems. What I mean is go with an open mind, try not to expect too much because that is when you set yourself up to be disappointed. I love Alanon, it totally saved my life but I expected nothing really. I had surrendered that feeling of 'what am I going to get out of this.' I just knew that everything else I had tried did not work. When I went to Alanon I felt like I was home immediately. Some people take longer to get that feeling but those who stick around are all grateful. I think it depends on how desperate you feel. I felt desperate enough thats for sure. I think people who only go once or twice are just not at that point yet. They may need a little more misery before Alanon means anything to them. I think you need to be ready for recovery, open to it and I think if you get nothing out of a meeting then maybe your not quite there yet. They ask you to go for 6 meetings, I think that is because people like us are often suspicious, sceptical and reluctant to let anyone or anything in to our heads. Alanon offers a safe, calm environment that is built on routine to help build trust so the guards that we put up to protect ourselves but are actually hurting us begin to come down. When they are down we can let good stuff in. Its just like AA in lots of ways. It offers us the same hope. Good luck with your meeting, I hope you get what you need.x
-- Edited by el-cee on Sunday 9th of June 2013 04:27:26 AM
-- Edited by el-cee on Sunday 9th of June 2013 04:32:33 AM
Some days I really cope well and I feel strong. Other days not so much. I'm having alot of guilt about my son who wishes I would have already left my spouse. When he is mad or disappointed with me, I just don't feel right. It hurts so much. Just a tad codependent, yes? But it has to be my decision if I am staying with my spouse or going. I know that is right. I'm counting down the days to start my F2F meetings. I've had to wait for a scheduling change which will happen in two weeks. I am so excited to start a live alanon meeting. Sometimes I read that people can feel disappointed in a live meeting. I am expecting alot! Alot of help, support, and compassion. Lyne (Like I get here on the board)
Keep the expectations and excitement going as you get there and listen, listen, listen...You'll hear alot of what you hear here also only with live voices. ((((hugs))))
Face to face meetings, help to break the isolation brought on by this disease. It is a powerful experience to be with people who understand as few others can and who are attempting to live by spiritual principles.
The best tool I picked up at my early meetings was the slogan : Listen and Learn.
in my experience meetings are a cummulative process it took me a little while to settle into the meeting format there is also the getting to know others which is a big experience and finding what different meetings feel like ( if you can get to more than one) some meetings for me have been amazing moments of revelation others have been more maintenace- like doing the dishes - a bit mundane but preparing for next time all useful for me
Lyne, just keep an open mind. Recovery is not going to take you where you want to go per say - It's going to take you where you are supposed to go and it winds up being a wonderful thing. Sometimes it hurts, it's not all peachy and fun. It's work and we have to address our fears and our shortcomings and move forward. At the same time, the fellowship and support and opportunity for spiritual growth is amazing.
Sometimes I read that people can feel disappointed in a live meeting. I am expecting alot! Alot of help, support, and compassion. Lyne (Like I get here on the board)
I've felt disappointment on many occasions but have to remind myself that others cannot always give me the answers I want at the time. If/when I leave a meeting feeling a bit empty, I just remind myself that I spent some time in a safe place, where everyone in the room has at one time or other, walked in my shoes.
