The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
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information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My kids went to their dads and I am going ape. I always get a bit squirrely each time they leave for a long period of time after having them basically the whole school year on my own. Now I am overthinking and I keep being wishy washy about who I am going to go camping with between my friends and now both parties are pissed at me in which I can not blame them, I should have just left the plans as is. I made such a mess really and have a good friend pissed at me or just hurt and dissapointed either way it doesn't feel good. I am a mess and feeling like a lone lonely loner haha. I know I will settle down and be okay, but with just breaking up with my bf and all the changes I lost my toolbox for a couple days and made a mess of things. I did not want to go with just my 15 year old and I, because I would be in a crowded area with lots of strangers and just wanted another adult around that I was comfortable with. So I invited one friend and kids which they had to buy the tickets, they did then said they wouldn't be there a lot of the time. So I asked them if they would mind letting another friend camp with me instead and buy out there tickets they said it was okay, but are now not returning my call. So I am stinkin thinking in my head and I hate how I feel right now. And in fact am going to be camping with my recent exbf, haha, who I was going to camp with to begin with. I feel utterly ridiculous that I just couldn't go and figure this out on my own or stick with my friend that would come and go, but I did it already and now need to sit and find my serenity. I went on a 2 plus hour bike ride and spent time with God as soon as I got home from work this evening and got rid of some extra anxiety and do feel better. Now I need to just let things play out however they come. I tried to make it to an open A.A. meeting tonight that was the only meeting around, but it was in progress when I got there and all guys so I got back on my bike and physically wore myself out!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
Hi breakingfree
I can relate to your share. So many times I've done a similar rearranging of plans, overthinking, what if, anticipating how things might go, changing things around, to the point where I am confused, upset, and so is everyone else. For me, I think it all goes back to my need to be in control. This program is teaching me that I am not in control. Easy to say, hard to accept.
Wishing you peace and serenity. The good news is, this too shall pass. You will be fine! Hugs.
I don't know where you are in the step process and I am thinking that for me this would be great tenth step practice. The sooner the better cause I don't like the negative stuff hanging all over me like I'm dressed in velcro...know what I mean? ((((hugs))))
Oh I do this too. Make big messes, remember were not perfect yet, soon but not yet. lol At least you have still got your sense of humour and you can pick up your toolbox again. Thank God for that toolbox. My life was one big mess for a long time. Its all about the need to control, maybe stemming from how powerless you feel over your children while they are at your exh. Be gentle with yourself though because its too easy to beat yourself up. Take care.x
Holy crap! I read this last night and was gonna respond this morning with something along the lines of "I don't know where you are in the step process and I am thinking that for me this would be great tenth step practice." Get out of my head Jerry F!
Seriously though, it does sound like 10th step work and that is evidence of your growth. You don't just act/react and have no awareness. You have insight. The insight hurts and makes us uncomfortable at times, but it makes us better people. Be gentle with yourself when you recognize your mistakes. Congratulate yourself for learning.
The space between my ears is a scary place to travel alone so I have to take my HP with me. :)
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
