The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I had a big day today. I finally accepted some things that were very hard for me. My marriage is over. But I accepted in my heart that it should be. We talked a lot last night and today. I apologized for my part. I really never understood how its his problem but I have something to apologize for until now. That whole concept just baffled me. Now I really see his addiction made ME crazy. Calling everyone when something happened, trying to set up interventions, rehab, trying to force him to get help. Even calling the police on him thinking if he was in jail at least he would be alive. I was nuts. I dragged a lot of people into it that probably shouldn't have been a part of it. I was so hurt and emotional trying to save my family and hold it together I didn't see the chaos in my own wake. It all culminated with a depression so deep I wanted to give up, I even wanted to try it just to know...why? luckily he refused to let me screw up the good I do have. But we finally connected again and we are going to try to be friends. He has always been my best friend I like the thought that we can be friendly, apologize, and try to be in each others lives in a different way. It has been a rough road. i thought he quit pain killers, and was finally happy, then in three months I found out about his new addiction, lost two step kids to different families, our business and my husband ad best friend. But today I finally started cleaning my room. That's huge. he messed it all up while high trying to clean. I haven't slept in it since i made him leave a few months ago. I just couldn't make myself go in other than to grab clothes to change elsewhere. i hope I can hold onto this measure of peace.
You have worked hard and I can feel that the acceptance, that is so crucial to living life on life's terms is finally part of your heart and soul. Good Job
(((Rinn))) One day at a time, one step at a time, one room at a time as you make the changes away from one way of life to another that is healthier and happier for you. Congratulations on making such monumental leaps of faith in a few short months, one day at a time.
Dear Rinn, You have been through hell in the last few months and it has been hard hard hard trying to keep your family together. Keep moving forward in recovery and you will thrive. It seems you have much resilience...don't ever let anyone ever pull you down so far that you want to give up...nobody is worth sacrificing your life. You have too many gifts to give. It seems I remember once you were looking at doing some sewing or something like that?
