The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The serenity prayer as well as the slogans, Let Go and Let God and One Day at a Time hrepeated constantly over and over in my mind helped me when I was faced with a similar situation.
Trust HP and know that you are not alone
-- Edited by hotrod on Saturday 8th of June 2013 06:14:19 PM
I'm so upset, my heart is papitating, I called my sponsor and she didn't pick-up. My 26ish y.o. grandson just called and asked if he could come by and take a shower, he got mad and hung up when I started to tell him he needed to come by and pick up his belongings.
I made the mistake of letting him leave some of his belongings here (he caught me off guard) as he was being moved from one place to another. I told him before that he couldn't use my place to run in and take a shower and get something to eat as he move from place to place, he is a slob, always leave a mess behind him, he get angry when asked to clean up and then doesn't do a good job.
I just called him on the # he called on, left a mess. for him to call. I'm going to tell him to come pick up his belongings and don't call or contanct me until he can get into treatment.
I'm 72+y.o. and I refuse to allow myself to let him or his mother cause me to have a heart attach or stroke with their disease and nonsense. This is getting really old and tiring.
Gettinitright!!
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Just go a step at a time, one day at a time. And you'll find a rich, thankful life you never thought you could afford.--A Rogers
((Highlyfavored))) It's can be so frustrating... but, as you know, it isn't rational to expect an active addict to have logical thinking, even when it seems so simple. He's going to do what he's going to do... so, what is it that you're going to do? Is there a meeting that you can get to? MIP has one online tonight. Saying the serenity prayer repeatedly helps me. Is there someone else on the Alanon list that you can call? I have gone down the list calling people until some one was home- I didn't know the person, but it was a very helpful conversation!
Establishing and enforcing boundaries is for ourselves- if his things are bothering you, is there an alternative? Can they be placed somewhere else out of sight? You can have and enforce the boundary of his not taking showers at your place, but you have less control about him repeatedly asking you.
Breathe. Be gentle with you. Do something nurturing.
Is there is a person who could help you bag up his belongings and put them somewhere where he could go pick them up (maybe a church basement or something)?
I know how hard it is to let go but don't feel bad about it anymore.
I sit here thinking about when this will be happening to my son when he's homeless. I'm also going to have to say no when he wants to come by to visit, clean up or eat. My son was a little over 3 week without a drink until today. Sad to see your kids destroy themselves and bring us along with them if we let it.
I would just box up his belongings and put on the porch so you don't have to deal with any pain seeing him right now.
In my thoughts..
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
Thank you all for your help/support. I did use the serenity prayer, got busy doing things around the house, my sponsor returned my call. I feel better, praying for courage to do what I've to do and focusing on that. He hasn't returned my call, my sponsor said he probably won't because he already know what I'm going to say.
Gettingitright!!
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Just go a step at a time, one day at a time. And you'll find a rich, thankful life you never thought you could afford.--A Rogers
Highlyfavored, god bless you. You are doing the right things. Sending you hugs and support, and prayers for your grandson.
Cathy, I am keeping you and your son in my prayers too. 3 weeks seems to be a limit for my AH too. Keep up your good work. Hugs.
