The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
the outpouring here is literally bringing tears to my eyes--but in a good way! haha
this evening was surreal: after a full day of my oldest son helping H move out of the house, shortly after I got home from work he stopped by, had dinner (asked if it was ok), he and I had a very nice chat about a bunch of musician stuff; I actually had a few moments when I thought, 'oh too bad this has to happen', then I heard him making a plan to meet another musician friend and I thought, 'oh yeah, I don't have to worry about where he'll be, how late, how much to drink, etc etc ect tonight or anymore!' felt like a huge relief
Of course before I get too puffed up I know it might be pretty difficult at bedtime, but I am currently practicing One Moment at a Time--I might try One Day at a Time starting tomorrow!
All the raw emotions can sigh with having some relief from the chaos. This may sound totally goofy, but I have found that by practicing saying aloud, "sleep well" in a calm, soothing voice seems to instruct my subconscious to do just that.
Thanks YF...you're practicing one of the greatest lessons I've ever learned in recovery; that about unconditional loving without being locked into. I heard a friend relate a story to me much like yours where a man separated from his wife said he wanted to be back home and her reply was..."I love you...I like having your here... and I don't need you." It wasn't said mean it was a reality statement ...just for me which at first sounded so upside down and sideways until I "got it"!!! My life and my happiness is my responsibility and not dependent upon...
I like bud's suggestion..."sleep well" practice, practice, practice. (((((hugs)))))
The book getting them sober vol 4 has been such a blessing for me. I am going to reread it again before Monday.
You are right .. you no longer have to be concerned about what he is or isn't doing.
My suggestion is a gratitude list from A - Z and serenity prayer .. those help me the most when I toss and turn!!! I've been doing a ton of yard work and that has been zonking me out big time!!
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
It was so awesome that the two of you could have an enjoyable dinner together...says alot about the integrity of you both. Maybe you can apply the "take what you like (occasional company) and leave the rest (him going out and worrying about the particulars):...sounds like a win win! I love hearing your progress...keeps feeding me that there really are people invested in their recovery!
