The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
AW has been alcohol free for over 3 weeks now and seems a lot happier and we have even gotten a little closer. We've played games together and watched movies together etc. I have started sleeping in the same bed with her and even have been intimate. I have NOT been concentrating on her recovery but I also haven't been concentrating on mine that much either. I skipped some f2f meetings that I planned on attending and I worry that I'm letting my guard down a little and opening myself up to disappointment. I can almost see from a 3rd person point of view that I am doing what feels comfortable and not what I really need to do to insure my sanity (regardless of what she does or does not do). SO... I am making a point of following thru and going to the f2f tonight. If I put it in a post here then it is easier to hold myself accountable. I also need to start working out again. I have had myriad reasons why I haven't been: first I tweaked my back, then I had a cold, then I got a bad case of poison ivy.... well all that is over and I need to get back up on that horse because I know it is essential to my mental health and physical well being. My sleep has also been a little out of whack so I need to utilize my meds when I can't sleep to keep me on a normal schedule. I don't like taking the meds (I don't even know why exactly... just don't like taking meds) but I need to show a little bit of discipline in their application. I have picked up my eating habits that I had fallen down on a little bit so that is good. More important than anything is that I have been staying in touch and praying to God. Trying to get back on track and have a little discipline which I know will lead to good things. thanks for listening.
DP - sounds like improved functioning and recognizing small lapses in self-care before they become big ones. Progress progress...not perfection. Keep it up. Get centered. That is how the program works. The best part of this post is you really are not obsessing much on your AW...I know that's easier to do when she's sober...but still...it's good and I am happy for you.
This sounds familiar It told me that I was still holding onto the belief that my problems were only problems bacause my husband was using...I did not want to take my own inventory. LIke, you, though, I recognized what I needed to do and I needed others to hold me accountable until my muscles were strong enough. We learn through our "relapses". You are doing great with your awareness...let us know how your meeting goes
My first prayer every morning when I wake up is the Serenity Prayer. I say it like its my first time every single day. That alone keeps me centered to move on to my prayers and daily read.
Doing good my friend
__________________
Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
Great Post and soooo revealing again for me DP... It reminded me that when my alcoholic/addict stopped drinking and using I still had "the" problem and still needed to do something about it. I was faced with no reason to come down on her because she was recovering well and "the only problem was me and the only solution was God" (from another member). Do the weights and the meds after doing the meeting. Loose yourself and your recovery and you loose everything. Your post seems to come from a member who has been "working it" mind, body, spirit and emotions. Mahalo for the lead. ((((hugs))))
In my early recovery with Al-Anon, it was real important for me to make it to f2f meetings regularly. When I got a sponsor I also felt like I now had someone with whom I could hold myself more accountable for my actions, as well. I'm glad you're getting to a meeting tonight. I need one real bad myself, I skipped an entire week and I can feel the "funk" coming on already.
You're doing great taking an honest look at yourself and your actions and making amends to them where needed.
It told me that I was still holding onto the belief that my problems were only problems bacause my husband was using...I did not want to take my own inventory. LIke, you, though, I recognized what I needed to do and I needed others to hold me accountable until my muscles were strong enough. We learn through our "relapses". You are doing great with your awareness...let us know how your meeting goes