The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Just though I would drop a line to let you all know that I will no longer be comming here.
It has become apparent to me that this place is one of the contributing factors of my depression, hearing all of you talk about your 'A's' with - in some cases compleate disgust, hatered and lothing.
I am in no way saying that these things have not, do not and are not happening to some of you, I just need positive people to focus on.
So I intend to start this year as I hope it to follow...Being Me without you, and working on what matters...me, my partner and my beautiful daughters.
Since comming here I have caused myself no end of grief, ie: things about my mum and she didn't deserve any of that, in her own way she was a good mum, just different! I need to stop compairing myself to her and living in the past.
For I am Kate Jeanine Hemson and not Catherine Flora Grey..
I am here and now and she (my mum) is then and there.
BE ME
BE FREE
BE POSITIVE
BE TRUE
I do thank many of you for being there for me, Flora123, She123, Baldy, Pico and Garom To name only some
I think, and I do mean this that you are all great people and you all deserve the best you can make of your lives, with or without an 'A'...
Flora, I hope this doesn't mean we no longer exchange e-mails, text's,
Pico I hope this is the same for you?
Baldy I wish you all the luck in the world with your wife and daughters.
So thank's all and good bye, this just isn't the place for me any more..
All the flumpy love in the world...
flumpy
life is like a box of chocolates, sometimes it get's sticky!!
-- Edited by flumpy at 09:42, 2006-01-10
-- Edited by flumpy at 09:44, 2006-01-10
__________________
Life is like a box of chocolates....Sometimes it get's sticky!!
Flumpy I completely understand the decision you have made, and I am respectful of it.
For me, this site works in the opposite way. My situation is so mild compared to the majority, that when I read, I am thankful that my life is really quite uncomplicated. But, no question about it, if you are depressed by the postings and goings-on here, it is right and in your best interest for you to say, "Goodbye".
Carry with you all the best wishes I can offer. And may you find the new year positive and joyful.
Diva
__________________
"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
I am in agreement with Diva. I respect your decision to move on Flumpy. I wish you all the best. I come here for acceptance and information and the ESH of others who have survived. I no longer live with an active A but my family is full of them. I still need help and support to get handle the disease.
Am I angry? Sure. Are the resentments ugly? Sure. Hateful and disgusted? Hopefully not but maybe, and yes.
But, for me in the program I'm learning to focus less on that and more on me. When I act like that, it's a slip in my program. Also, these feelings are things I need to work on and through. One of the reasons I got here was by stuffing my feelings.
For you Flumpy, I'm glad that if this is not working for you, you are taking the reigns and controling something you can and changing for you.
Best of everything ot you. :) Bob
__________________
You are a perfect child of God and God and I love you just the way you are! (added by me...in that special alanon way)
We all have to take care of ourselves in the best way we can. If you feel that being here, hurts rather than helps you, then leaving is what is best for you.
I know the negative from all of us can be a downer, but I learn so much from othe situations of others and how they can deal with life. I also know that it helps me to vent when things seem unbearable.
It all comes down to doing what is right for ourselves.
I wish you peace and happiness.
One of the things I have found over the years here, is that I can leave and be welcomed home again when necessary. The room is always open, and you will alwasy be welcomed should you find a need.
(((Flumpy))) Flumpy -gee I respect your decision. I must say I will miss the great humor, laughter and joy you bring. Lots of well wishes, Tracey (tea2)
BOBUMP_______But, for me in the program I'm learning to focus less on that and more on me. When I act like that, it's a slip in my program. Also, these feelings are things I need to work on and through. One of the reasons I got here was by stuffing my feelings.
rosie_______ you know when i first came into recovery i thought of NOTHING but my abuser.....now??? i think of ME...what i can DO for ME....how i can love ME.....how to nurture ME.....sure, i am still angry, and i still have to "talk about it and air feelings" but it is to get THROUGH it, and LEAVE it behind me.......
2 years ago, i hated me..now i love me-----2 years ago, i abused me...now i nurture me----2 years ago, my perp had the power.....now i am taking my power back------2 years ago i hated /distrusted/ didn't want ANYthing to do with any god....now i am open/ willing / eager to love/trust in god (need work on this)-----2 years ago i thought of dying....now i think of living, FREE------2 years ago i couldn't trust ANYone....now i am willing to and CAN trust safe others------2 years ago i was a victim....now i can set AND defend boundaries...........2 years ago i felt helpless...now i have my program tools with which to deal with life....the list goes ON and ON what i have gotten out of this program.....
i am a lifer here....this is my home.....working this program is the ONLY and FIRST evidence i have seen anything that even remotely looks like there is a real god, a higher power who DOES love me.....yep, i bought my ticket here and it says "lifetime member"......peace/ rosie
I respect your decision to do as you must to keep your serenity. Know that you are not alone in your choice. There have been several times over the years that I have taken a hiatus from the boards and the meetings to tend to more pressing things in my life ... like me. But I have always returned to my second home.
Please know that if you should decide to return you will be welcomed just as before.
God bless you. I am glad that you are taking care of yourself and will miss you in chat. I havent been able to get in for a few days and unfortunately last time i signed in as you signed out so didnt get the chance to speak with you. If you do decide to return,I am sure many will agree that it'd be good to have you back. I'll miss your sense of humour and wish you good health and lots of good luck dear Flumpy.
I knew there was something going on - wish you had found some peace here, but, not the end of the world. Also, wish you would have come to face to face - your mum was an A - no question - it might have helped. I hope I did not push you in that direction too much, we have to be ready.
Of course we must stay in touch. As it happens, I am going to be in your neck of the woods twice, towards the end of January - so, get your excuses ready!!!!
Lots and lots of love, to you, T, M and J,
((((((big hugs, take care, girl, we will still be here, if you change your mind)))))))
