The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hello ,first day first timer. HA ( husband is a long time alcoholic) I think is what I say, He is a work ahalolic , heavy on Doctor Rx, And I need this Al-Anon bad! I am always the one that is doing wrong, acting wrong and hes the mister nice perfect guy in everyone's eyes, so he plays. He is a God fearing man that still prays when drinking ,so hes all good with God also. So why am I so unhappy? And feel so used and alone? Thinks are always turned around on me , I'm made to be the bad girl because I get mad when , He wants to give our money away to women in need that he works with, and goes running off to help any one that needs it, when our home is falling apart? He works extra hours everyday , just drinks at work, lies when he get home and says no I haven't been drinking, when I can smell it on him. He could hurt someone drinking and driving! Married 11 years, no kids at home , all adults. I have no job , but looking , starting Al-Anon classes in town tomorrow. Thanks for listening.
welcome to Al Anon and these boards. Other peoples experiences are so powerful and moving to help us with finding more peaceful ways of living with acoholism( which can mean staying with or leaving an alcoholic).
I am so glad you found some local al-anon meetings for yourself. The meetings saved my sanity and that is where I found my sponsor and lots of al-anon reading material. The book "Getting Them Sober" by Toby Rice Drews was so helpful and so was "Melody Beattie's "Codependent No More". The daily readers help me to get into a good head space every morning also. I am glad you found us at MIP and keep coming back. Sending you love and support on your journey!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
Jerry: Oh, I love that idea. Stop hand. "That's not true." Hand down. Walk away. Ohhhhhhh - I want to go out and find a practicing A just to see how that will work.
Melodibella: Welcome. You've come to the right place. A young couple stole my purse as I tried to put groceries in a van one night. When they were caught, they told the detectives that they were "God fearing people." They felt so bad about stealing another woman's purse that same night prior to mine they prayed about it. He asked them if that's why they drove to another store and stole mine. The point of the story to me is this: Nobody gets away with anything forever. This "God fearing, prayerful" couple were caught just a few days after stealing my purse because I saw their vehicle and they could be tracked on video coming in and out of the store and driving around the parking lot before they stole my purse. I was fairly certain they used the "God fearing, prayerful" people line because they thought that would make it go easier for them with the "victims" that they wanted the detective to have us call them so they could apologize. I kept this in mind when I filled out the victim impact statement and included jail time, counseling, community service and repayment of the items they stole from me and the indication that I wanted to be present at sentencing where I plan, if called, to address their thievery, preying on people, and then blaming God for their failures and their manipulations. What they also didn't know at the time they stole my purse was about my friendships with some policemen who are very protective of me and wouldn't let these two get away. It was only a matter of a few days before they were caught after their pictures were on TV and tipsters called Silent Observer.
Your husband will be stopped short in some way at some point in the future. Until that time, I'm glad that you will be job hunting, attending Al Anon, visiting this board and finding other ways to take care of yourself. Lots of support coming your way.
-- Edited by grateful2be on Friday 31st of May 2013 05:22:19 PM
Aloha Mel and YAY!! you've come home. Alright!! and you sound so ready to change things again Alright...because the way you are doing it is the way that it is done. Al-Anon and the support of the MIP family. Just a mind set from and old timer? One of the early things I got in Al-Anon that worked for me? When the alcoholic starts to lay the blame on you?....put your stop hand up in front of him and say firmly..."That's not true" and then pull your stop hand down...turn around...and walk away. Don't Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain (JADE)...just practice "That's not true". Keep coming back you'll always have a seat here. (((((hugs)))))
