The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I don't get it, and I am glad I don't...My AH has been on a raging binge ever after falling off the wagon 2 weeks ago. No need to point out all the chaos and crazyness, why repaeat the same old stories...Oh shucks, he pee'd on the brand new couch! On a serious note though, he said yesterday he would go to the 1:30 AA meeting today but still has no plans to stop drinking till after the long weekend, which to him has now extended itself to Tuesday. I guess I just wonder, "Why go to a meeting when you have no plans to stop drinking?" I mean I am glad he went but this just seems crazy to me. Than again it is crazy so why do I try to make it understandable???
It sounds like you stepped out of the chaos and are merely observing it! If that is so - Wow! I'm impressed with your detached observing of what is beyond your control. And you are sooooooo right. Why try to make what is crazy understandable? That's what makes us crazy. Trying to make sense of what makes no sense at all. Lots of "atta girl" coming your way!
Aloha Love...I agree your growth is showing thanks for the good stuff and not the rerun. God do I know the rerun myself. I am also a member of AA and at times we do get "wet" ones in the room and at times their ears and minds and focus are all open at the same time and God will put God's foot in the crack of that door and allow the drunk another view of recovery that they had not had before. I got into AA in a bit like the same way. The door was propped open and kept open just enough for me to squeeze thru with a wider perspective. My HP loves me unconditionally just as HP does everyone else here and on the journey. Thanks for the share. ((((Hugs))))
Please forgive me - this isn't funny - but, I can't help but laugh. The way you put it is funny.
My AS was fuming because he believed that somebody turned him into his PO for leaving the State which is something he isn't supposed to do while on parole. He wanted me to tell the person who turned him in - "Thanks a lot." Well......because he had disappeared - AGAIN - I decided to see if I could find him via internet search before he ended up in prison again on a technical violation. I found him on Myspace with a big picture of himself and conversations between him and some people he knew bragging about going out of state to our hometown to celebrate his birthday with maybe wine, women and song. So, I couldn't help myself. He asked me to tell the person who turned him in thanks a lot, so, quietly I said, "Well, I think you did that." "WHATTTTT?????!!!!!!!! I didn't do that." "Well, honey, I found you on Myspace... Don't you think your PO would look for you on one of those sites, too?"
You gotta love 'em. They can make life spicy for us.
Oh boy I can relate too...when my AH realized I was actually SERIOUS about needing him to leave the house, the bargaining began--'I am ready for AA!' (this was said to me after an allnighter when he 'slept' in his car and returned to our house at noon the next day; even a few days ago after he was served divorce papers 'I don't need drinking, I could stop yesterday, we can stop all this'
It's astounding but they definitely want to figure out a way to appease us (!!!!) and still keep drinking and whatever else.
All part of the process, whether we can understand it or not...
My ex-AW used to chair AA meetings while drunk... Or she used to go to meetings, and stop in at the liquor store on the way home, etc., etc....
Bottom line is - my gut says something is resonating within him.... he IS aware that he has a problem, even if he isn't quite yet ready to deal with it.
Their recovery is seldom on OUR timeline.
Turn the focus back onto you, and your recovery... it really IS the only thing within your control
Tom
__________________
"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
