The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My girlfriend is going through detox and she is on her 7th day. I know she is sick and all but will it affect her to act as she hates me? Will it change over time? Or because she is getting clean she is losing interest in me..? please help have many more questions...
Britt welcome to the board and great that ou are reaching out for Experience Strength and Hope from those of us who have been there also. Your' girl friend is altered by the chemicals...she is not anywhere near normal kill your expectations of her and the relationship for now. She (and you also) are going thru tough times from very very different perspectives. This isn't going to be a short term fix and it's not going to be all better when she detoxes and finds some understanding about what has happened to her over the long past. You are going to have to make changes yourself. Let me suggest that you find the hotline number from the white pages of your local telephone book for the Al-Anon Family Groups and call the number to find out where and when we get together in your area. This is a two part disease and all involved play their part in making it run. You'll need to know and you'll need to know alot about what comes after. Please keep coming back to this board as this is a large family of supporters that makes a difference in how we learn how to manage our own lives whether the alcoholic and addict are still drinking and using or not. (((((hugs)))))
this is a scary time...but what Alanon will help you do is focus on YOU...because none of us can predict what an A is going to do...and we cannot make our happiness contingent upon something we are powerless over...Step 1.
I'm with Jerry -- let the dust settle...and then see...NONE of us knows what the future holds...but with support from Face-to face meetings, and the board...we will make our way through it the best we can...keep coming back~
welcome to al anon this is a good place to get support and face to face meetings are even better
I often hear it said in al anon rooms 'I don't know how this programme works but it does' and I agree with that little by little taking on board al anon tools and ways of thinking really does bring peace to the families of alcoholics even if the alcoholics are still drinking.
When you're in despair from the effects of living around an alcoholic it's so helpful to hear the hopeful message from other people have been where you are. It can really lend you hope. And before you know it you're up there being the hopeful example for a confused and despairing newcomer
The most helpful advice I've learned here is to focus on yourself, not the alcoholic. Once I let his alcoholism (and the related problems) become HIS problems but not MY problem, I found peace. You can gain that same sense of peace as you work through this. This site is helpful and I've also read library books that are helpful. Hang in there!
Tonight my 22 y.o. alcoholic son is drinking in a bar. In the past, I would have been very upset and gone after him in a rage. With my new inner peace, I texted him not to come home if he has been drinking--and it doesn't even bother me that he may be out on the streets. I've learned that it is HIS choice. It is HIS problem. I am free to set boundaries without guilt or compromise and it feels GREAT!
