The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Maybe it's the full moon; maybe the stars are aligning; maybe everyone's just gone plumb crazy. But there has been a disturbance in The Force this week. It all started with my Monday night meltdown. I felt better the next day, cleansed in a way, but there has just been so much weirdness happening this week. So much hurt, so much pain, so much anger.
I just tried to lay low, keeping my mouth shut and my eyes open. If I could have stayed home and hidden under the covers, you bet that's where I would have been. But life goes on, right?
Then, at Tuesday's F2F, someone from the church where we hold the meeting came in and said that someone's car in the parking lot was spewing antifreeze. Then she said it was the car that I own. What can I do? I'm in a meeting and I REALLY needed it. So I just pushed it to the back of my mind and continued on. Upon coming out, it was true. Huge puddle of green crud on the asphalt under my car. Cripes. I had a water jug in the car so I filled it up and dumped it all into my radiator, which by the way has cracked the seal along the WHOLE top edge. I've been checking it and filling it ever since. Thank HP that I have a friend's husband who is a mechanic who is going to fix it for free. Now, just gotta figure out a way to get the $$$ for the parts. Next to impossible because since the divorce I've been paying for the entire mortgage, bills, everything by myself.
Wednesday, I was in my new office space when the crazy people from my old office came by to see one of my colleagues. They literally stopped at my office door and mad-dog stared at me for what seemed like forever. I just crossed my arms and stared back at them until they went away.
Thursday, during a staff meeting, the previously mentioned colleague of the crazy people went plumb crazy herself...starting yelling at our boss, claiming she was being discriminated against. That is not true - her behavior has just been so atrocious that my boss finally said that she wouldn't communicate with her about her issues unless someone from HR was there. I asked my HP to watch over her because she truly is sick. Because my colleagues and I were witnesses, we had to write a statement about what we saw; as I mentioned before this isn't the first time she went over the edge. I just closed my office door, listened to Pandora and tried to stay out of it.
Then, I get my pay stub and realize that the HR department is still billing me for insurance for my XAH that should have been removed two weeks earlier. So I'm $80 short on a check that was already too small to pay the bills. And how the heck am I going to buy that radiator now?? I went to HR and asked what was going on. The person I talked to was so rude, and condescending, telling me it was MY fault and there was nothing they could do about it.
I lost my cool. My evil twin came out in full force. Don't mess with people's paychecks and then tell them THEY are the ones at fault.
And in the F2F meeting that I usually gain so much strength from - apparently everyone else was suffering from the disturbance in The Force. We were all sobbing by the time we got out of the meeting.
Today, a blessing! My sister-friend agreed to loan me the money for the radiator. But the situation with the co-worker blew up so bad they actually put her on administrative leave. Thank HP she has our Employee Assistance Program so that she can hopefully get the help she needs. I'm actually very grateful that she is out of our space for the time being.
The nail in the coffin - tonight, I get a notification from Apple that my iTunes account has been changed. WTF? I get online and find that my XAH's mistress has hacked my account, put in her contact information and deleted mine, then took the thousands of songs from the account. So all my music, books, Podcasts, everything, GONE. I texted my AXH and told him what happened. His mistress replied ON HIS PHONE telling me that I was the one who committed fraud. I am filing a fraud complaint with Apple as we speak.
Wow, that's been some week. I loved how you handled it though especially with your sick colleague, I have a person like that in my work and I try to have compassion. You certainly did. You sound so healthy, maybe this week was a test, you passed! X
It does sound like you got hit hard this week, but wow you sound so strong and healthy with it all. I am trusting that as you are working on yourself and working a strong program you have the strength to handle situations like the ones you faced this week.
I think that sometimes we get slammed with a lot at once and there will be some calm AFTER the storm. I am praying for that serenity for you.
I read your post before going to bed last night. You had a TOUGH week! I had never heard about the iTunes hacking and stealing your music. That is taking something so personal and your soft place to land. I dreamed about it last night. It's another hurdle in your path. I admire your skill in coping.
I encourage you to continue drawing on your strength. I'm praying for smoother sailing for you.
