The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I read daily but don't post a lot as its difficult from my phone. Long story shorter my A & I were together for 2 yrs... I left after a the 1st physical incident 6 months ago. He is 5
Months sober and working a great program. I truly want to have a future with him down the road, we still see each other, but all is in secret due to my families disliking his actions towards me during the physical alternation. I'm struggling so much with the thought that a some point it will come down to choosing between my parents & brother and a man a deeply love. I don't know how to justify a decision like that regardless which way I go and I don't want to "string" him or I along & continue the relationship in secret if I will never be able to live with the choice & repercussions that will inherently follow by my family. I've prayed so much, turned this over to God (my HP) over & over yet I fail to get an sense of peace about the situation. I don't feel like I have anyone I trust enough to confide in about it, I've even been thinking about seeing a councilor. I feel
Just utterly stuck. Don't know that anyone has any ESH for me about this type choice or crossroad but I feel so isolated & am just trying to connect with someone who has walked this path possibly.
Thank you in advance for reading - you ALL mean the world to me.
I know whenever I get stuck in conflict I start seeing my counselor again until I can get through to the other side, my sponsor is also someone that can usually help me through lifes hardships. Just remember this program is about being true to yourself and making healthy choices. You have to put on your own oxygen mask before you can put on anyone elses. Are you making it to meetings and working your program through this. I am glad to see you coming back to MIP. I find it helps me if I am working my program big time when I am struggling. I am sending you love and support!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
An idea that occurred to me as I read your post: What if you just put it all out there, and ask for support of both sides? If you want to try a relationship with your sober A, then do so, and ask your family for support. Tell your A what he's up against in terms of regaining trust with the fam...
I do the same thing as you! I give my power away to others...I try so hard to please other people that I forget that I HAVE A RIGHT TO MY OPINION and CHOICES. I have the right to make mistakes, too!
You have a right to try what you want to...and I'd encourage you to remind your family that you are walking into this next phase with open eyes..Counseling helped immensely for me...to examine what my motives were, guard against old destructive habits, etc.
We have power to make our own decisions, and if things don't go well, then we at least know we've tried. You are under no obligation to make others happy
all best,
RP
-- Edited by rehprof on Thursday 23rd of May 2013 07:51:56 AM
