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My AH thinks his blood pressure and temper issues have been helped by new doctors med. (Our family doctor kicked him out as a patient after getting popped on a synthetic drug test and showing his butt at the office) Any way ... he found new doctor that did NO blood work and asked for NO medical records.. He told him he had issues with temper and the doctor prescribed Busperin and clonipin along with two blood presure meds.. My AH keeps saying how happy he is (this was 3 months or so ago) If your so happy why did I have to call police twice since youve been on meds and why are you still drinking?? But you know how it is . he just likes to rink he doesnt have to ?!?!?!?!?! His bp was still high so doctor added another med last month ... Now he goes to his urologist for his testosterone shots. And he said your on too many meds.. refers to another doctor..... Monday he went to his appt ... He honesltly things this doctor can ":fix" everything.... So THIS doc is weening him off one med and added another ... still NO BLOOD WORK and NO HISTRY asked for or provided... HE IS 35 YEARS OLD !!! I mean really .. shouldnt these doctors be held accountable? ???? the only doctor I understand his actions is our family doctor that booted him for failing drug test and acting foolish to staff......
Thankfully going to talk to my counselor tomorrow on how to tell my son that daddy has to leave until he can get help .... I honestly am scared with these mood swings... meaness increased and zombie-ness increased also !!!
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..."expecting the world to treat you fairly because your a good person, is like expecting a bull to not attack you because your a vegetarian "
I Too Believe they should be held accountable, Doctors & Patients alike! I have a Family doc and She too jumped on the "Try this first & if it works then 'where' ok" but ME being ME... Said to her "Kindly"... until you can prove to me that is whats up with me, I Will Not Take Any form of Meds, because I have a Very Addictive Personality, and I can't Take any chances... Needless to say, all that i am on after test & blood work was in hand is Meds for my Acid Reflex (Which i had to have Scope done) and Vit. D... Once that was taking care of the Meds she wanted to give me was Anti depressants... I Took Care of Me & Stood up for Me which MORE People should to, I don't accept unacceptable behavior no more, and I don't go on someones word when there is No Proof!
Continue to take care of you, and even tho it is scary to make such choices... When it comes to your Well being and that of your Children, you will no the right call... Glad your Here! KEEP COMING BACK!
I have been going through some problems and fights with my partner lately and decided it's just not worth it to care about his business anymore. Little background. I have over and over until I'm blue in the face to get him to start taking care of himself. I told him he was drinking so much ( non A ) that something has to be wrong. He even had paperwork to go get blood work done but he never did. I slammed down the paperwork and got mad he didn't go do it. ( Few weeks ago )
Well during this last week of us not talking I seen he went to see his doctor.....bank entry for co-pay. I didn't say anything. Then I see two new meds for something so I looked them up. He has type 2 Diabetes. Well I didn't say anything and he hasn't said a word. I will be his decision if he wants me to know or not or if he care for himself or not.
I'm not going to take care of him anymore. I'm not going to worry about him anymore. If he doesn't care about himself, should I be the one to do it for him??? He will either get help or he won't. What am I going to do.
Let go Let God
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
Cathy ... I dont know who his new doc is or what he's on.. I looked at bottles after 1st doc.. So this is all his voluntary info. I just said last wkend ... I will NOT allow my son and I to be spoke down too or cussed anylonger ... I also will not be warrning of going back to atty ... He will simply be served papers.. He can move out and "get fixed" without dragging us through it. He said drinking is what helps him until meds kick in ..(really .. that came out of his mouth) So Im leting him be in charge of his form of recovery.. Really think our son and I are here for "show" o prove his life is good, but its the behind close door ridiulous chaos I dont want to be part of anymore... verbally attacking our soon last night was too much !! He asked to go to nail appt with me instaed of stayin home to play and thats when he told me what his dad said... I told my son go get your game so you can play during my appt and yes your right to be mad, dad has no right to say ugly things to you or call you names...your NOT an idiot and wanting to play baseball IS NOT STUPID !! dad is wrong not you
UGH !
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..."expecting the world to treat you fairly because your a good person, is like expecting a bull to not attack you because your a vegetarian "
Like Cathy, my AH does not like to offer up any information about how he's feeling or what the doctor said, etc. It's infuriating. I found out that he's now on Ambien by accident and on Strattera. He never revealed these things to me on his own. Oh, and I've heard the drinking until the meds kick in saying, as well. Now, my AH just mixes an antidepressant, a stimulant, and a sleep aid with his alcohol. No worries by him and I've finally decided that it's his decision to make just as others on here have had to do, as well. Give them the dignity of taking care of themselves. It's sad, but that's the way it has to be when someone doesn't want to let you in.
Hugs, Sweet, I totally understand your frustration. My AH doesn't tell each of his doctor's the truth, either, or he tells them half the information which doesn't help either. Sometimes it's not the doctors who are in the wrong, it's the patient lying about certain health conditions or minimizing symptoms or not revealing symptoms at all. A doctor can only treat what he can see on blood test results, X rays, scans, etc and then go by a patient's symptoms.
IF your worried about the lack of history. Call the dr. They can't give you any info but there is no law sawing you can't give them info. Give them a heads up. They may still prescribe everything but perhaps they will look at his current situation and make sure at minimum they don't give him something that will mix wrong with alcohol or drugs or cause big health problems. Some Drs just give drugs like candy though it may not do any good.
Plus it is probably wiser for your own sanity to draw bounderies on your own and try to detach from his disease. calling a Dr might be crossing a line. Actually I am sure it is. but calling would be my knee jerk reaction and I am working at not having those. LOL Obviously it doesn't always register. :)
Boy oh boy, .. bottom line .. and I will duck as your throw the shoe or whatever else is handy and I had to hear this AGAIN this weekend and I was PISSED!! Is it really any of your business? I already know what you are going to say .. well of course he's my spouse and he's hurting himself, me and my child. It's my marriage it's my business. Well, .. yes and no .. if he's hurting you and the kiddo you have choices you can make when you are ready to, instead of using anger (which is a great motivator that comes with an emotional hangover), find a place of calm and really think about what you want and deserve. Anger is a great tool in remaining detached while these crazy things are happening.
I know I have needed anger to take some action in the past year .. a LOT of anger actually .. something I did discover in my own journey is the anger leaves me tired and frustrated .. it only hurt me. He didn't care that I was angry .. he cared I went to an atty .. not why I went to an atty .. LOL!!
So it's not that anger is a bad thing .. honestly a little anger goes a long way .. a LOT of anger is not good.
Whatever you choose to do .. do it because you are in a place tight with your HP .. anger is good only if it comes without the emotional hangover.
Hugs P :)
PS - I have been down the road of calling the dr's I even had a HIPPA release to freely speak to the dr about what the wasband was doing and guess what .. they don't care because most of them really don't get it. If they haven't been in a 12 step program of some kind, dealt with addiction on a first hand basis ... they don't get it. Mine thought I was overreacting .. it's really not that bad .. blah blah blah .. and when she realized that it was she had already put him on some serious drugs that completely wrecked him. I mean emotionally, mentally and so on .. it's not to say we didn't have issues already .. saying that clonipin and those kinds of drugs block feelings which is EXACTLY where an A wants and needs to be .. feeling nothing. They will find another dr tell them the well if you lived with her you'd feel this way too story and at some point the truth WILL come out .. it just takes time .. and it's hard living in the boiling pot of abuse for that time to take place.
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
As a spouse, I sure don't think it would hurt to let the doctor know (and I'd want to talk only with the doctor to make sure the doctor hears from my mouth rather than their receptionist's or nurse's mouth) what I'm observing and experiencing in relationship to my spouse's behavior on the meds. Of course, trying to educate them on what you think they should do probably won't help, but just reporting what you're observing about your A's behavior could be a help if stated calmly and matter of factly. From there, its between the doctor, their HP and your spouse what happens next and actions may not be what you'd like to see happen and may be all the doctor can do or is able to do? Computer databases set up in the medical and insurance world are becoming fairly universal so that more cross-referencing of patient's info can be shared. At some point, as Pushka said, the truth will come out. Until that time, your health is the most important thing and that helps make your children's wellbeing better, too. Much support as you deal with all this stuff.
