The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hmmmm. What do you think might be helpful to you? Where do you think you can go for help? You've received lots of suggestions on this board as to things you can do to help yourself and you've written ideas to help yourself. And now - you're out of the house - where he'll no longer be listening to your conversations, checking out the websites you choose for yourself, or checking whether or not you are sleeping. It sounds like you're free for now. Where do you think you can go for help? An Alanon meeting? Women's shelter? An AA meeting? Your sister's house? Your daughter's house? A hospital? You don't need money for most of those places, do you? And it appears you have a cellphone with you? Maybe you could make some calls to some of those places from your car?
-- Edited by grateful2be on Tuesday 21st of May 2013 01:55:47 PM
Hi, Ms. Anger can be used as a tool to make healthy changes in our lives, but it isn't good to stay angry hour after hour, day after day.
If you can no longer return to your home because of a RO, where are you planning on going to stay? What are you going to do to get help for what you call your codependent ways? You said you have an Al Anon sponsor. Have you talked with her today? If you are by yourself right now and not in your home, are you still in your car in a parking lot? If so, is there another place you can go to get rest for the night, or are you planning on sleeping in your car?
-- Edited by grateful2be on Tuesday 21st of May 2013 07:53:20 PM
-- Edited by grateful2be on Tuesday 21st of May 2013 07:55:42 PM
I'm so upset .. My sick twisted AH sober had to go that extra step to hurt me . He called my sister the only one I talked to in my family and told her what going on. I was making plans to go have lunch with her but I never did!!!! The plans changed !!! I stayed home . I didn't go any where.. My AH controls me on everything . He called my sister today to try to get information out on me . When she last talk to me ask her about me going down there.. My sister no how he controls me she told him nothing . And he accused me of lying and not to be trusted . He called my friends ask them stuff about me. I'm sitting in my car crying disgusted with his action on how I been threatens by him and he has the galls to get me kicked out of my house .. He got a RO out on me!!!!!! He has been raping and tormenting me . Drilling my head . Playing games and still controlling me.. What right does he have to do this to me .. He is mean ungly person who would search me daily violate my source of help and he stands in front of me and smiles in my face . The 6 months of his sick behavior got me out of my own house and away from my kids for 30 days !! Where do I go now ??? I have no money . I have no one to help me. And he made me so sick that I have no idea what to do
Ms, I hope I don't hurt your feelings here but you sound as if you need some professional help. Can you go to the doctor and tell them how you feel? Your posts sound manic to me and I don't get how your husband got a ro if he is abusing you. Can you stay with your sister, get some support and space? I'm not sure how to help, I just hope you get what's best for you.x
I'm not sure what it is that I wrote that you think I don't have a right to say? I'm also not sure what you're meaning by my changing your name? It's apparent you're feeling upset. Can you help me understand what I said that was so upsetting to you and what way you saw that I changed your name? That wasn't my intent. Thank you.
-- Edited by grateful2be on Tuesday 21st of May 2013 09:52:08 PM
Please don't take this personal to. I have been medically cleared by dr . I make sure I get a pysc eval every 3 months for the fact that the AH wants to use that against me .. Yes I'm mad !! Who wouldn't be if you had your AH spouse sitting in front of you making faces and joking when he is purposely doing this to make you look unstable .. This is all bs . And no I'm not depressed or have any kind of mental illness !!! I have bad co dependent ways . That's why this stuff happens to me and I'm sorry that I'm very angry . I been backed in the corner and tossed in the ring for no reason . To fight. He needs to be metal evaluated . And just think he is the one that treats your love ones when they call 911 .
You have no right to say that to me!! I read your things and I don't change your name . I learned another lesson . That every one is quick to put the finger on me!!!!!! Oh I'm sure the ah is on here watching . That's what he does best. But I will take not be on here again.
Dear Rosemary: We're here to offer your our experience, strength and hope to the best of our ability. We've been where you are in varying degrees. We are all recovering from codependency issues and we know you can, too, if you choose. Sending peace and goodwill your way today.
-- Edited by grateful2be on Wednesday 22nd of May 2013 05:38:08 AM
This would not be the first time I'm wrong, but there may be a misunderstanding with how the post was read?
where
Hi, Ms Anger can be used as...
was read Hi, Ms Anger
I see that you are in a spot where the overwhelming anger is consuming you and refueling your anger intensity. Many of us understand this. You have choices. Take a step towards focusing on a solution that would help bring you to a safe and healthier place. Put the focus on you to take those steps. It takes courage, let the anger move you to courage. Nothing changes if nothing changes.
I'm so happy your back.....please don't go away again.
Now that your calmed down a little you need to seek help for you. Tell you AH you are going to seek help at Al-anon and that he doesn't need to worry, you are going to get help dealing with his and your problems and how to handle it in the right way.
Seek out everywhere you can. Do it all. Put the effort in because the effort you have experienced in the last 6 months had to be insanity. Believe me helping yourself will be easy..
Come here often and let us help you along with our ESH and read everything you can about Alcoholism.
If you love him that much and you want to stay with him. You have to work a program right beside him TOGETHER.
We all love you here and support you so please keep coming back because your worth it.
In recovery...... (((( hugs ))))
-- Edited by Cathyinaz on Wednesday 22nd of May 2013 02:59:52 PM
__________________
Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
Ms
I really hope you keep coming back. I'm sorry you feel the way you do. I understand, you must be so upset at what's happened. Maybe your hp has set you free from him. I know it's not ideal you must miss your kids but maybe there's a silver lining. You could really work on your recovery, give it your all and that would be a start and what a brilliant example to set your lids. A great message ' no matter how bad things get there is always hope' I'm sorry you don't feel your getting the support you want but you will always be welcome here, we all want the best for you.
Please all forgive me . I'm trying my very best I really am. I'm back home at my house . AH sober 6 months told me he will give me another chance to change and accept him and trust him .. He had divorce papers and a RO out on me but he never filed it . He wanted to scare me , this is what I try to say how he still try's to manuplatute me , and make me fear of him.. He fills out the paper work then sends it to me in a text with the picture and say I will give you time to calm down and then I (he) will decide if he wants to take action on getting me to be put in the hospital.. I am truly tell you all the truth I would never lie or make up anything for attention .. I really want to learn to handle poor behavior he is tossing at me.. . I was a wreck yesterday very unsure of this whole recovery of him.. I have been very supported and sick as it sounds yes I love him.. And trying to look over his alcoholism , but then when he now is using legal paper work to scare me and still in a controlling behavior I think that is sad and sick to do to me.. His Sponser was nice to see me yesterday to calm me down . His Sponser was speechless to see how much AH has made me sick. The Sponser told me yes my AH is sick and trying to get better but it's not fair for him to not let me get the help I need . His Sponser told me that my AH is past the controlling phase , and now compensating in a different behavior and it's abscessing about me . I am going to see about a advocate to help me find the right help I need . I tryed to do this on my own . And it didn't work.. I am going to use what time I have away from him to get the help I need. Thank you all for helping and being patient with me.. Today is better than yesterday . I can only say that I'm grateful today for the peace and time apart from my husband ..
Today I am gratefull that I got out of my house in time before my husband came home this moring . He called me several times last night but I didn't want to talk to him . He said he leave me be . 30 days for me to get better.. Then begged me not to get a RO on him now. He says who will mow the lawn who will go food shopping. The out of control of texts he sending me. My husband says he is sorry for the mental abuse and the nit picking I forgave him . But it does not change my discussion to leave him.. He is not going to change the compulsive obsession with me won't go away.. Today I have a clear mind and I will seek the resource I need for when I'm on my own. He thinks this temporary seperation will work . I am ignoring him today he is already texting and voice messages and demanding to no where I am right now .. I'm not going to the fight any more and I don't think I feel the need to response back to his question the demands. Am I being to harsh??
Let go and let God help him. Just seek help for you at this point.
You are not being harsh at all. Think about it.....was he being harsh with you? Ok then
He's scared you will get the RO......what a change. Let go...
My partner one time demanded where I was and said he would call the police and report me missing. I finally texted OK call. He didn't because I would just tell my side of the story to the police and I'm sure he would have been the one handcuffed and hauled off to jail. He let that one go because deep down inside what really happened. He can't control me no way no how no matter what he says......threats are unacceptable.
I'm happy your taking this time to get your mind clear so you can take the next step into recovery
(((( hugs ))))
__________________
Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
