The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
thanks for the welcoming into the group. This life is such a roller coaster when you live with a husband who drinks.He is a functioning alcoholic but an almost everyday after work, drinks by himself and usually gets high as well. Last night, again he was drinking. we went to bed i said to him, oh my god you reek of rye. His response...well you better get used to it. I responded...are you kidding me? what should i get used to? you drinking everyday? He responds...its not EVERY day...i told him it is, everyday, and once in a while maybe once a week you don't, but yes its everyday, is that a good thing? He wouldn't answer me, he didn't have an answer for me. ON the day that he doesn't drink when he comes home is the day he really tied one on the night before and he just comes home from work and falls asleep on the couch. So really never have an opportunity to even talk to him about this when he has had no drinks. Its emotionally draining, and i know i have to pull myself out of it. Everytime i do say something about it he tries to come up with something that i do to compare his drinking (or smoking pot) too, it used to be me drinking pop....he would say we all have our vices...look at you.
In the last couple years i have really focused on myself, i have become incredibly healthy, i don't drink pop anymore (which he can't even say a word about now, but now he tries to compare his drinking for my "additction" to coffee as he puts it...even though i could honestly take it or leave it, and never have more than one coffee in a day if that. I have poured my frustrations into the gym, getitng and focusing on myself. IT has honestly been a godsend for me, but sometimes i just get pulled back into the emotional draining of living with him...and that is where i have been the last few days and it is sooo hard to pull myself out of it. I realize to function i have to detach from him, its sad and heartbreaking because i do love him. Its just so frustrating, that everyday i have to either come home to him being drunk or stoned, or drunk and stoned. So frustrating that i can't really have a dependable conversation or make plans with him because he is a 360 in thoughts when hes sober vs drunk.
How do you pull yourself away from this, i feel so stuck.
I am not sure if you have begun attending AlAnon meetings. It is such a lifesaver for me that I recommend it in your situation. It is our situation. You will know you are not alone. At my meetings I learned about detaching with love. Many meetings have literature on this helpful technique and practice.
It was here I learned the link to this other resource: http://www.livestrong.com/article/14712-developing-detachment/#JUMP3
I love what you say about taking your frustrations out on the gym. Perfect!
I too tried to be perfect so my AH could no longer have anything to say, but he was irrational and always came up with a way to shift it all towards me and gave me more to work on, it was pure insanity. Al-anon face to face meetings were my saving grace and I hope you can get to some. Sending you love and support!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
