The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I'm new to al anon. My 6 mo sober AH is working working on his steps and will be soon making amends. I am most scared of more confessions of his infidelity. I know that it happened under my nose while I was with my kids in another room. I don't know if I can handle going back wards and learning more truth. Am I allowed to ask that I don't want to discuss. Its taken me so long to come this far and I don't want to feel further resentments.
I can certainly understand how you feel. The pain of rehashing the past is understandable The amends in the The 9th Step, as it is written suggests that Amends be made directly except when to do so would injure others.You can certainly speak to your hubby and explain how you feel.
I have had sponsees make amends to their partners by ceasing to practice the behavior in the future and by owning it to their sponsor. I would like to suggest that you check out alanon face to face meetings in your community. The main number can be found in the white pages. .Alanon is a fellowship of people who live with the disease of alcoholism and meet in order to break the isolation caused by the disease, and learn how to recover from the devastating effect of living with the disease.
We also have on line meetings here 2xs a day
The group meeting room can be easily accessed by clicking on the link on the menu bar above the board. You can also join directly at http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. .
Morning Meetings
Mon. - Fri. at 9am EST
Sat. - Sun at 10am EST
Each Sunday morning at 10 am EST, we will be having a Spiritual meeting with a topic relating to the Spiritual part of our program.
Aloha Shelly and welcome to the board. The information that hotrod gave is super support for your growth...not growth so you can be less or not afraid of what might happen or what might be said and growth so that you can build your own recovery for you because the disease has held your mind, body, spirit and emotions down for a long time. By the way...when the alcoholic gets into recovery and starts to make changes, it doesn't mean that the world has to be a happy audience. If by any chance of the imagination you are right and that he does state a wish to make a 9th step with you...you can say no...not now...I'm not ready...or even I'm not interested. You make choices for you and you get your own consequences. My alcoholic/addict wife did a 9th step with me and when it was done I accepted it without judgement or resentment. It was from her awarenesses (she often was drunk or high when things went sideways) and not based upon mine. I let it go and was happy that she had reached the opportunity and event which might mean that she had a more solid chance at another bout of sobriety. I hope and pray she is still sober and clean...Only HP knows and if HP wanted me to know there is no way I will be able to stop it. She has been doing it for her own self for 30 years 2600 miles away. Do your program work and don't sweat his. ((((hugs))))
