The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My AH is going to a daily AA meeting, and has for just over a month. Today is day 14 of no alcohol for him. We are getting along better, not arguing. We are far from perfect though. I am trying to LetGo and Let God, but some moments I just want to scream. I want so much for him to find the peace and joy of recovery, like I find in my alanon program, but he seems to be just going through the motions. I fear he is going to meetings just to get me off his back, I know I should stop watching him and obsessing over every last word, gesture, etc., but old habits are so.hard to break. Maybe I am wanting miraculous speedy recovery for him. I know that is so unrealistic, I need to just keep the focus on me, and trust that hs HP will lead him where and when. It is silly for me to be so impatient, he....we...are both doing so much better. If he stays sober, that is wonderful. If he doesnt, I can still have peace and serenity. At my last meeting we talked about Tradition 5, part of which is understanding and encouraging the A. So hard to do, but I will continue to try.
Sorry for rambling, but thanks for listening.
Not rambling at all. Nice job using the tools and reasoning things out. Thanks for sharing because it helps me feel less alone with my own frustrations and wishes to change others. Hugs. TT
__________________
Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
Paris...those are the "newbie" jitters. The alcoholic goes thru the same identical process with a different focus...him drinking and you him. I hope you have a sponsor tho you didn't mention one. Sponsorship saved my life and kept me off of my alcoholic/addict who just owned me with out even asking permission to own me...mind, body, spirit and emotions. Coming to believe in a power greater than myself was a must before I could trust my Higher Power and I did. I learned to rely upon my Higher Power for all of the love and support my alcoholic was not capable of bringing into our life. Patience for sure...practice with patience. ((((Hugs))))
Yes, if you don't have a sponsor, get one asap. It is a different level of recovery, a more intimate one. She will guide you and redirect you to come back to you and the obsessions can lessen (will lessen if you do your work) One step at a time, One day at a time, One hour at a time, whatever you need!
The title caught me because I don't pray for patience or strength. Pretty much I figure I have all the strength I need and the God of my understanding has a very wicked sense of humor, .. so those patience lessons are very much not a fun thing.
What I do pray for is preparation time, when it is time the wisdom to change the things I can and let go of the rest.
Sending love and support, it does get better and you are not alone!!
Hugs P :)
__________________
Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
I love the response Puska posted. I too would pray for Patience and boy did I get plenty of lessons to learn patience...then a very wise person said to me..." Oh my, all this time you've been praying for "Patience"? May I suggest you pray for "Peace". (Well Duh, I thought) makes much more sense for me. Hope this helps. Keeping my eye on MY side of the street "me" is actually a huge lesson and heavens knows I need daily help...aka I'm human.
) One step at a time, One day at a time, One hour at a time, whatever you need!