The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I'm back up stairs in my room where I want to be. Boundarys have been set for the last time! Request that I stay in my room till I'm ready to accept that I'm working my program to get better to detatch . AH 6 month sober . Agrees to leave me be till I'm ready to accept him back in my life.. Snooping behavior is still going on. I no I'm sick . I no I need help. I can't think anymore for myself , I find myself so confused by the head games he plays , he hasn't been to a meeting for a week , he has to much pressure added to me to get better fast ! I'm getting angry ,tired worn down emotionally .. No is no!! .. I'm taking a break from here . I need a break from me. I feel like I'm out of my body watching the controlling things he doing to me and I can't defend myself because I don't no how.. I do know what to do I mean . I just don't no how to act on it . . I just don't want to think any more . .
Holing up in your room and wanting the world to stop is not going to get you healthy. Being hyperfocused on him is not going to make you healthy. Focus on you. I would really try to get to more alanon meetings.
I understand the pain and confusion you are feeling. Alanon suggests that we learn to Act and not React to the world and to the people in our lives. If we continue to react we usually withdraw , shut down, blame others for our problems, see no way out except to run. In other words we try to make our lives so very small that they become unmanageable. It is so important to break the isolation caused by this disease, connect with others who understand as few others can and begin to take positive constructive actions in our own lives.
There are two great Alanon CAL pieces of literature that I believe would help you they are entitled :"When I got Busy I got Better" and a small pamphlet "Just for Today" Please search these out at your next meeting or look on line.
In essence they suggests that we act our way into recovery. Small everyday efforts really count. Here are a few suggestions: I will dress nicely, keep my voice low, not criticize anyone, do at least one thing I do not want to do, I will not show my feelings are hurt, l will speak softly, I will pray keeping the focus on myself one day at a time.
There are great benefits for you and your family when you begin to truly use this program You are worth it.
Detaching and working on your own stuff is good! But I also ALWAYS have to remember the good ol' Hungry Angry Lonely Tired (HALT). Especially hungry & tired! If I am either one of those, my thinking starts on a tailspin and I go down the rabbit hole fast. When my basic nutrition and sleeping needs are not met, I simply cannot think straight and my thinking is fear/anxiety-based, drifting out to sea, rather than based on objective sense with a solid foundation.
